So...

**I apologize in advance for the mess that this post is going to be, but welcome to my brain at the moment**


Stuff is happening on the working front.
I dunno if its good stuff.
I hope its good stuff, but it has to be secret stuff for the moment.
At least until Tuesday.
Then i hope i will be happy.
I hope.
A lot.
A lot a lot.
Basically put it this way, if you are the praying type, please keep me in your thoughts.
I wouldn't normally ask, and I'm not being selfish, trust me. Trust me, I'm not.
I don't want to share just yet, but I may after Tuesday.


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In other news, hopefully in June, i will have paid a heap onto one of my credit cards, and it will be nearly gone.
People, this just leaves 2 left (not including the husbands one).
I would've paid more then half my debt off!!
(**Note** This relates to the work thing, so hopefully, hopefully this is still feasible.


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Ever had bed bugs?
I have. In my old, old, old house, and it was terrible.
Ever had chicken pox?
I have. Twice. It was just as awesome.
Now, i have neither of those right now, but I have the same annoyance in being itchy.
Ever had to use Aristocort?
I am now.
I have no idea what it's supposed to do, except make me stop scratching myself in my sleep to the point of bleeding - no, I'm not kidding or over exaggerating - but I'm not sure its working yet. If any of you out there have any encouragement with this, i would really love it.
To be honest, i just want to wake up with no more random scratches on me. :(


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It was my grandmas birthday last week.
My dads mum.
My dads dad passed away a lot time ago. Maybe 8 years ago.
My grandmas tough. And strong. And great.
I love my dads family. Mostly.
A lot.
I love that i happened to have a day off, so that i could spend the day (or part of it) with her and them.
She turned 80, or 78 or 74.
No one was really sure. Including her, mostly.
My grandma said her birth certificate says she was 80, but my dad and his brother, (my uncle) both said differently.
I love that that part of my family can spend the day insulting each other and that is love.
Love.
I love that we are drink (mostly) and have tattoos (mostly) and are all about the kids.
I realised that day that my dad wants to be a grandfather.
Or at least his face says he does.
My cousin had her (younger then 1) baby, and his face showed that he wanted to hold the baby, but the girls and the gays were always the first the baby went to.
But when dad held him, my gosh, his face changed.
It makes me sad that i can't give that to him now.
But not yet. Maybe soon. But that's all reliant on the first thing i wrote about...
Gosh, i love days spent with my family.





Now, I must go to bed, even though its only 10, and even though the husband is out partying, cause even though its Saturday tomorrow (oh! and the world is going to end...) i have work.
Its actually only my Tuesday today. Sigh.

Little little letters

Dear Work,
I generally love you.
Really.
But for the past 16 days, and the next 6 days, having only two {separate} days off, is just not enough.
Someone please remind me to never do this again.


Dear Little Sisters EX BF,
I hate you.
I hate you for making her cry.
I hate you for lying to her.
I hate you for blaming her for you lying to her.
I hate you for not being a man.
I hope that you realise that you lost a delightful delightful young Lady.


Dear Kelly Cutrone,
I fell a little bit in love with you from this show.
Then i saw you on this show.
Now, I'm watching you on this show...
I love you.
Ps. Don't judge my terrible tv watching habits... trust me, its worse. :)


Dear GREAT Coconut and Lime hand soap,
Thanks for being so delightfully good smelling.
Sorry mum, that you gave it to me for a Christmas present and i forgot about it til now.
{I did try and find a link or a picture but couldn't :( }


Dear HIMYM,
I love you.
I've probably said that before, but i don't care.


Dear Not Always Right,
You make me feel better about talking to stupid people at my job. :)


Dear {slutty} girls whose profile picture on FB is in a bikini,
You don't look good.
And if you did look good, you wouldn't need a picture of yourself in a bikini as your profile picture.

Dear Dad,
Happy 50Th for next weekend.
I hope you have a fantastic time.
I hope that I have made the last 25 years of your life better rather then worse.
I hope you like your present.
Love you.

Dad.

**NOTE**

I started writing this a little while ago, before my holiday,

but never finished it, so here it is now.

Sometimes i feel guilty for no reason and other times someone says something that while is not meant to be guilt-inducing is.

Here is what happened and i felt so terrible for it.

Myself and my husband, have disposable income, while we use a lot of it to pay off debt (mostly credit card...) and the rest just to waste. We really should be saving for a house or emergency, but we are totally 'Gen Y" so don't.

Anyway, when we do fun stuff, its terribly boring to do just by ourselves, so we usually do it with other people, we usually invite my siblings or his siblings. More mine then his, cause they are younger, (teens) and don't have to think about who is going to look after their kids, (my siblings have none, his siblings have them).

My little sister (and her friend) spent a week of her holidays with us and while we spent a lot of money, we did a lot of fun stuff.

This time, we are planning a trip to the snow and both my brother, sister and sister in law and her kids are coming. Not terribly spesh but still fancy.

Anyway, i missed the point.

We were in the car with my Dad, little sister, husband and myself were in the car. Husband and sister were discussing the trip and were talking about the place we are staying in.

My Dad says, 'when we win the $50 million (lotto), We'll go stay in the deluxe suite'

My little sister, (i think not realising what she was saying), says, 'I think that's where we're staying already'.

Now, i didn't hear this conversation, (or i was just ignoring it cause it was snow related and I'm just a bit blah about the situation, cause I'm only going there to get massages and acupuncture and fun things like that. Who skis nowadays??), but when the husband told me later, i just felt so bad.

I loved my childhood. No matter whether we had money or not, (to tell you the truth, i wouldn't have known the difference), i had a great childhood and i wouldn't swap it for the world.

I know that my Dad did the best he could, and it was more then enough. I look at him and what has done for me and my siblings and i see that he gave us an AWESOME childhood and a great loving family.

It kills me to think that he might have said what he said, cause he thought he hadn't given us enough, or anything like that.

I see him on the weekends getting up at 5.30 (on his days off, ahuh), to take my sister to soccer and my brother to football, and then be my brothers football manager, and then take them both to golf, where he is lucky to have a round himself.

I only spent time with him every second weekend, and half the holidays, when i was younger, (yep, i was part of a divorced and then later a step family), but i know that when i did see him, it was awesome.

Recently, my dad hurt his foot and it made me see him as not the indestructible, giant man i saw him as. That really scares me, i remember when my Pop (his dad) died, and the awful feeling that I went through. I couldn't imagine what he were going through, and i know that i really really dont want to feel like that ever.

I'm sorry that i wasn't brave enough to live at your house on my own, and when my older sister said she didn't want to move up there, i didn't either.

I'm sorry, that as i got older, i wanted to go up to see you less and less, because i wanted to spend more time with my friends.

I'm sorry, now that I'm living with my husband, we spend even less time visiting you.

I'm sorry i didn't have a proper wedding and you didn't get to walk me down the aisle. That's the only thing i regret about my wedding.

Ps. I love how my brother is almost the same person as my dad. Down to how they speak and act.