What do i want?

What do i want?

I ask myself this sometimes, and i never have an answer.
I'm not talking about wanting to have that thing in that shop, or have never ending amount of money.
I'm talking about life.
What do i want out of my life?

I don't know what i want.
I don't know what i want with my career, i don't know what i want in my house, or even what kind of house i want.
I don't know where i REALLY want to live.
I don't know whether i want to own my house or rent forever.
I don't know if i want to go and live overseas away from my family or close enough to them to see them every day.
I don't know if i want to live pay check to pay check or have spare money at the end of the week to save.
I don't know if i should be happy about how i live or if I'm not normal.
Sometimes i don't even know what happy is.
I don't know if i want to be a worker for the rest of my life or if i would make a better stay at home mum.

I know the 'proper' answers to these questions.
I know what people 'should' do.

But i don't know what i want.

Sometimes this scares me. Most of the time.

But i don't know what i can do about it.