People

This has been on my mind for a while now, but i haven't really told anyone the full details of the situation and never really thought about it fully myself, but allowed it to continue to bug me.

I don't like hypocrites. I really don't. I also can acknowledge when i am being hypocritical myself, and try not to be. Simple as that.*

I 'had' this person, companion, acquaintance, associate, buddy, chum, call it what you will, i will say friend. Had being in quotations because i don't know if i would call this person, or whether this person would call me a friend anymore.

Now, this was a person, that i worked with. Worked closely with. Pretty came to work in a good mood, cause i knew that if i was in a bad mood, this person would be able to make me laugh, or distract me, or encourage me to continue to be cranky and get over that quicker.

Now, a few things about my work is that there was/is sometimes a high school mentality. That's what you get when you mostly have young people in a large group together for a long period of time. Add to that, drinking together and you pretty much what most people would see at a high school. You had the cliques that you would have at school, but there were also times that you were an adult. Basically, its FUN. (most of the time.)

Now, WE used to have fun too. WE used to complain about the same things. WE used to mess around and slack off. WE used to gossip A LOT. WE used to be childish, and WE had FUN.

Then something happened and this person left my workplace.

I'm not going to go into specifics, cause that doesn't help anyone, but they left.

And I was left to deal with the ramifications of our work alone.

I'm not saying that they were all bad.

It made me realize that I couldn't always have fun, and slack off, and say, that can be done tomorrow. I had to change.

And I did.

I grew up a lot.

Yes, I still am childish sometimes, and yes, I still have fun.

But instead of being an adult 1 day out of 5 before, its basically been reversed.

Now, I'm not saying that this person was someone pulling me down, NOT AT ALL. I'm saying that I have changed.

Would I have been this way had this person stayed at work? I don't know. That didn't happen, so I can't answer that.

Anyway, what is concerning to me is the judgment.

To be honest, the 'end of the friendship', happened when I made a comment on twitter. This comment was not to this person, but made in general. (TBH, it was about someone else.) Yet, rather then ask me, this person took it to be about themselves and while it wasn't a nice comment, and I wasn't in a good mood, I didn't explain myself then. Maybe I should have. But maybe I shouldn't have to explain everything I do/say/write to this person and that's how I feel.

After that, I was 'unfollowed', (non twitter people, this means that the unfollower no longer gets an update of your 'tweets'). I didn't care that much about that. I figured, rather then try and explain myself and have me on the back foot, I would like this person get over it themselves. I wouldn't push myself onto this person.

Twice, maybe three times, I have made comments to this person, as a friend and both times, I was shot down completely. Reason from what I can figure out, is that I am still at the same job. At the 'high school' job. Being a child.

One time, specifically, I was being sympathetic to this person, SYMPATHETIC, and their response was to tell me to stop whinging about my job. (wait, was it sympathy or empathy that you take an example from your life and use it to show similarities? Whatever one it is, that's what I was doing.) Yes, I was using an example from my work, however, this person was complaining about something, it wasn't just me saying 'complain, whinge, complain'.

Other times, it was things that we would have talked about for days when they were at work, no doubt.

Now, apart from that one misconstrued comment, I haven't or don't think that I have, done anything to make this person judge me or 'unfriend' me at all.

We have mutual friends and that makes this difficult. And that's why I'm sick of not sharing. Another friend asked me to a party and I was apprehensive of saying yes, after I heard that this person was invited too. Just invited, not even definitely going.

This other person also made sure to mention that they weren't sure what was going on between the two of us, but they friend was being invited too.

That was the last straw.

Apart from that one misconstrued comment, I haven't or don't think that I have, done anything to make this person judge me or 'unfriend' me at all.

Yet, other people are uncomfortable talking about this friend to me.

NOT COOL.

Now, if I go to said party, I'm not going to go out of my way to avoid them. I'm not going to say to my husband, (who talks to said friend now, but they pretty much hated each other when myself and friend were friends), not to speak to them. I'm going to do my best to not make it awkward for anyone involved.

But I don't know if I should have to do that.

I don't know really what to do, or if I want to do ANYTHING.

*In saying that, I'm not calling this person a hypocrite, I'm just saying.

Sickened

This is a reason why i am both sad and glad that i didn't continue into social work.

Thomas Sam and wife Manju jailed over daughter's death

A HOMEOPATH has been sentenced to at least six years in jail and his wife will serve at least four years for the manslaughter of their eczema-stricken daughter.

Thomas Sam, 42, and his wife Manju, 37, were convicted in June of the manslaughter of their nine-month-old baby Gloria by failing to seek proper medical treatment.

The tertiary-educated couple were accused of "gross criminal negligence" by failing to get the treatment, instead mainly relying on homeopathic remedies.

The baby was malnourished despite being properly fed, because all nutrition had gone into coping with her severe eczema.

She died in Sydney in May 2002 from an infection her body could not fight.

In handing down his sentence in the NSW Supreme Court, Justice Peter Johnson said Thomas Sam's "arrogant approach" to his preference for homeopathy above conventional medicine, and Manju Sam's deference to her husband, had led to Gloria's death.

A "very wide chasm" lay between how they had acted and how any other reasonable parent would have acted, Justice Johnson said.

"The omission of the parents to seek proper assistance for her can be characterised accurately as cruelty," he said.

"Gloria was totally dependent on her parents complying with their clear duty of care for her and each offender fell profoundly short of their parental obligations to their daughter."

Despite recommendations as early as October 2001, the Sams had refused to take her to see a specialist.

Instead they took her to India for more homeopathic treatment, despite being told by doctors that to do so would be "cruel" to Gloria.

And following their return to Australia - on board a plane where fellow passengers described the child as "screaming constantly" and "inconsolable" - for nine "critical" days, the pair did nothing.

On the ninth day, concerned about a lingering eye infection, the Sams took their daughter to the Sydney Children's Hospital at Randwick.

Doctors described Gloria as "incredibly sick" with a "massive eroded rash" and "grossly malnourished".

They gave her morphine for the pain and began treating her eye infection - her corneas were melting.

But it was too late - Gloria died three days later.

Doctors said she had been malnourished for months and in severe pain for weeks.

"Gloria's body was worn down and ultimately worn out," the judge said.

"This is not a case of a hidden condition going untreated and ultimately causing death.

"Rather this case involves an accumulation of obvious health problems which, whilst not properly treated, saw the child descending towards death."

Thomas Sam faces a maximum jail term of eight years, while his wife faces a maximum sentence of five years and four months.

This was there beautiful baby. (from here)

I just saw this story on the news and the reason they waited NINE DAYS after they came back to the country, to see a doctor? THEY WERE JET LAGGED AND TIRED.

This also makes me really really angry about the judges and laws that we have that allows these parents to even be given a maximum term and are able to be charged with manslaughter. What these people (although i call them this as the things i want to call them don't even come close to describe what they are) did is, in my eyes, murder, and torture. I'm sure 8 years is nothing.

Normally, i wouldn't wish harm to people (at least not out loud), but while these 'people' are in jail, i hope that they are not in "protection" and i hope that people are aware of what they have done. I hope that they are in the same type of pain, they put this little defenseless little baby in. I hope they they feel some of the fear, that this little girl might have felt as she felt her sight and then her life, of what little she lived, slipping away from her.

It makes me think about how many people saw this child and did nothing as well. How many people say this child in pain and just accepted it? How could the doctors have done more? Do the people who saw this child, think about her? Are they sad that they may have been able to do something, but let her parents continue? Had poor Gloria not died, would they have used 'conventional' medicines for their son? (Yes, after what happened, these 'people' continued with children). How can the law get away with such short sentences for such horror?

More articles and peoples opinion on this story can be found here.

Holiday time is family time, and i dont like it.

So I'm on holidays at the moment.

Went to the snow.

I hate the snow. HATE it.

Hate the cold as well.

The husband likes it, and so we went. I figured i could get massages and relax and have a nice time. Good plan, right?

We invited my little brother and sister, (cause they have never been) and my older sister and brother in law. The older sister and brother in law, cancelled on us, and cause everything was already paid for, we invited his sister and her 4 kids. As in the husbands sister, not the brother in laws sister, that would be just weird...

This is what has happened so far.

First day we got here, we had a 7 hour bus trip. Wasn't too bad, except the husband turned off my alarm before we left, so instead of 1 hour + to get ready and make sure we had everything, we had 10 minutes. Yep 10 minutes. Yes, we have already discovered stuff we have forgotten.

The bus trip was not eventful, though, the people sitting in front of the brother and sister, put their chairs the entire way back for the last two hours of the bus ride, so they were squished. Jerks. I hope that they hurt themselves on the snow fields.

The sister in law and children were coming from a different state, so they drove. They drove past where they were supposed to go, and were almost on their way to Canberra, but finally made it.

Yesterday, we had private lessons, two were skiing and the rest snow boarding. Now, i have skied before, i don't love it, but fuck me, if I'm going to be doing anything, i would prefer something that i have control over both my legs and are not strapped into something that will not move.
BUT i did snowboarding. Cause the husband complained at me to do it, and because i would be with a 5 and 10 year old learning if i skied. Not my idea of fun...

Any way, i quit the lesson halfway. I hate failing at anything, and i hate having no control. Both things of which i was doing in the 'learning' process.

PS. Keep in mind the 'teacher' told my little sister, the best way to stop is to just fall. Awesome teaching there, me thinks...

So meanwhile, while the others finished the lesson, i 'hung out' with the youngest child who is 5, and who cracked the shits while she was in her lesson... Great fun was had by all.

The leads me to today.

I had plans to laze around the WARM house, and possible go outside and down to the shops. Maybe go on the chair lift, whatever... Figured i could meet the others for lunch or something, but have no plans and no one tying me down...

How wrong i was...

The husband thought he would do a good thing, and suggest since i was going to be at home anyway, i could look after the two kids that didn't want to go on the big chair lift. In fact, suggested this in front of his sister who loved the idea, cause she wanted to get boarding more, (cause she had to cut her lesson short cause of the kid who cracked the shits). Now, i didn't mind the idea, but this was not what i planned for MY holiday. MY holiday that i was looking forward to, cause i was wanting to get massages and RELAX.
Not be a babysitter, cause i didn't want to board down a huge hill.

Another thing is NOISE.

I know kids aren't quiet, i get that, i know that they aren't just a little noisy, no, they are HUGELY NOISY, like, if i was another guest and was next door to us, i would be complaining and DEMANDING to be moved, no joke.
And they aren't just noisy during the day, no, try 7am in the morning when they wake up and ONLY THEY are awake. That's when they are noisy. They also don't know how to walk quietly. They were playing skipping in the house on the second floor and the husband was encouraging them. I was downstairs and i swear, i saw whatever roofs are made of, fall from the roof.
I mean, i know that they are excited and all that junk, but fuck me, shut up.

(Did i spell roofs right? Or is it spelt rooves like hooves? Although now that im looking at hooves, that looks wrong, even though it looked right in my mind, anyway...)

And apparently, shutting doors is a thing of the past.

When you walk into our apartment, there is a door to the hallway, which is like 2 steps from the door to the outside and SNOW and COLD. There is a little room that we keep all our boots and snow covered stuff in, and then there is another door, to the actual apartment. Where we LIVE and HAVE HEATERS ON. You know, the place that NEEDS to be kept WARM.

Now, Me, husband and brother and sister are sleeping in the bottom level, we only have little heaters in our rooms, so it gets pretty damn cold. You might have forgotten, but i HATE the cold.

The kids and sister in law, are upstairs. Upstairs with the fireplace and another heater in the bedrooms, which gets a tad warm sometimes...

I guess cause it doesn't affect them, but the upstairs people 'forget' to shut the inside door. Which means, the coldness gets into the bedrooms and we freeze. They also have left their jacket caught in the OUTSIDE door (which kept it open) and left the inside door open, which means, we were basically completely open to the elements...Awesome huh?

I have told them firmly a bunch of times.

Now, don't get me wrong, i love these people, and i enjoy their company, (for small periods of time), but i have another 4 days of this, and its supposed to be MY holiday.

I also can't exactly say to the husband, who is having a great time with MY sister and brother that i am hating it, and the reasons why....

I also have no idea when or where i can get a friggen massage from and rather then walk down the hill in the howling wind i asked the husband to ask where, and they came back with just two business cards... I don't know what these people do, or what.

I just don't know if i can handle another 4 days of this...

And now i am apparently the anti social one, cause I'm tucked up in bed when everyone went out to have one last ski before the lifts closed, and don't want to get out of the warmness within seconds of them coming back.

Ps. I wasn't going to blog about this, but i was just left alone in the house, and i could feel a breeze coming from somewhere and where was it? The bloody door!! Left wide open, and making me cold when i have two pairs of pants, a top, a beanie and a scarf on!!

Adding to the hoopla.

At the moment, there is a big hoopla about Kyle Sandilands and his radio show

Kyle and Jackie O show.

Now, i hate that I'm writing this, cause personally, i can't stand either him, nor her (Jackie O), but i have an opinion and the way the media is bringing this story is killing me!!

Now, a short run down on the dets...

Kyle and Jackie have a BREAKFAST radio show. They were also the hosts of Big Brother for one season before it got canned. Kyle 'was' also a judge on Australian Idol. (Jackie O did some other stuff too, but she is of little importance').

**Note, neither of them are counsellors or claim to be.**

So, breakfast radio here consists of each station trying to out do each other in terms of WOW factor, and scandlousness.(Yep, that's totally a word).

Honestly, i haven't really listened to breakfast radio since i was at school (7 years, gosh I'm old), so i only hear the excerpts of which they play through out the day.

But i have heard nothing except this for the last few days and now I am adding to this. Sigh.

So the segment was a lie detector test segment. Pretty basic right?

The subject (is that the right word?) of the lie detector test was a 14 year old girl.

The giver of the questions was her mother. ~~~Remember this part!

Kyle and Jackie O were there to comment, i guess.

Now, i didn't hear the segment at the time, just excerpts of it for the first day or so, but i have listened to the whole thing now.

I don't know, if Kyle or Jackie O knew what questions the child's mother were

going to ask or not.

This is what happened:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,,25871515-1242,00.html

Now, lets make it clear.

Her MOTHER asked her the question.

Her MOTHER was smiling and thought it was funny.

Her MOTHER knew she was raped. Both Kyle, Jackie O and the producers are saying that they did not know about the rape.

Yes, i think it is pretty silly to be asking a 14 year old about her sexual experience, cause in my opinion, 14 year old should not be having sex, however, that's not the point here. At least not the point in my opinion.

Yes, again, i think that Kyle may have said the wrong thing right after the comment, however, as i said earlier, neither of them (himself or Jackie) are counsellors or claim to be.

They are radio announcers and did what they needed to, to make sure there was not silence.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,,25855449-5013560,00.html

While i think maybe that last line is a bit hmmmm, i have to agree with him.

The child's mother has barely been mentioned in this fiasco.

Nor has Jackie O.

The media has jumped on this story and jumped on Kyle because he has this 'bad boy image'.

And no matter what the issue they have with him, that should not have happened.

Meanwhile...

Kyle has been dropped as a judge of Australian Idol for the controversy this issue has caused, not for the comment he made.

The Kyle and Jackie O show has been put on 'recess' for a week, (so far, although this article says differently...)

The following companies have dropped there sponsorship of 2day FM:

Amercian Express

Optus

Channel 10

Qantas

I don't doubt these will be the only ones that will drop their sponsorship, because of the backlash that is currently happening. And that makes me really sad.

If you want to listen to the audio, check out this article, they have a link to the audio.

Now, i feel sick thinking about this poor child and not only what she had gone through on the radio, but what had happened to her, and that she hadn't gotten ANY COUNSELLING OR ANY HELP AT ALL until this point.

The producers of the show have organised counselling for this poor child.

DOCS have also become involved.

This whole thing and the media circus that it has been created into, just makes me sad.

**UPDATE**

Here is a transcription of the incident.

The on-air exchange that started it all

JACKIE O: What's your worst fear, is it the sex, is it the lying, the possibility of doing drugs, smoking?
MOTHER: Drugs and sex and older boys
JACKIE O: Has she (the 14-year-old daughter) told you she's had sex before or do you think she's a virgin?
MOTHER: I think she might have had sex before.
JACKIE O: Right. But she hasn't said anything?
MOTHER: No.
JACKIE O: (Laughs) Alright we have her (the daughter) hooked up to the lie detector!
KYLE: Ohhhh!
JACKIE O: She's not happy! I just saw her listening to that replay!
KYLE: How are you (name)?
DAUGHTER: I'm scared!
MOTHER: Have you had sex?
DAUGHTER: I've already told you about this and don't look at me and smile because it's not funny! (Pause) Oh, OK! I got raped when I was 12-years-old!
(Silence) KYLE: Right. And is that the only experience you've had?
MOTHER: I only found out about that a couple of months ago. Yes, I knew about that.
DAUGHTER: And yet you still asked me the question.
MOTHER: The question was, have you had sex, other than that?The on-air exchange that started it all
JACKIE O: What's your worst fear, is it the sex, is it the lying, the possibility of doing drugs, smoking?
MOTHER: Drugs and sex and older boys
JACKIE O: Has she (the 14-year-old daughter) told you she's had sex before or do you think she's a virgin?
MOTHER: I think she might have had sex before.
JACKIE O: Right. But she hasn't said anything?
MOTHER: No.
JACKIE O: (Laughs) Alright we have her (the daughter) hooked up to the lie detector!
KYLE: Ohhhh!
JACKIE O: She's not happy! I just saw her listening to that replay!
KYLE: How are you (name)?
DAUGHTER: I'm scared!
MOTHER: Have you had sex?
DAUGHTER: I've already told you about this and don't look at me and smile because it's not funny! (Pause) Oh, OK! I got raped when I was 12-years-old!
(Silence) KYLE: Right. And is that the only experience you've had?
MOTHER: I only found out about that a couple of months ago. Yes, I knew about that.
DAUGHTER: And yet you still asked me the question.
MOTHER: The question was, have you had sex, other than that?

If you are a victim of, or want to report a rape, you can call 1800 424 017 or get some online help here.

If you want to report anything relating to child abuse or neglect, you can call 132 111 (TTY 1800 212 936), or go here.

If i missed anything or am misinformed about anything that i have written, please feel free to correct me.

Whats a degree worth?

I'm having a situation at work again.

It relates back to here. And it’s getting to the point where I can’t deal.

In my job, I come across things that need to be communicated out and I am not ‘allowed’ to do this and have to forward to another department. (The department I applied and was denied to).

Now, the person in that role, isn’t the brightest, and doesn’t always get what I mean when I explain as clearly as I can. It also makes it difficult, as when I'm having trouble, it kinda looks like its spiteful trouble, but it really isn’t. (OK, I’ll admit, it is a teeny bit, but not enough to want to make my job harder for spite.)

The last time I suggested something to be communicated, it took 8+ emails and replies for it eventually be escalated to a manager with the issue still not resolved. And I'm not talking one or two line emails. The original request was the shortest, and was 10+ lines explaining clearly what I wanted.

My job is not easy, (well, it sometimes is easy, but only when all the work is done, or I'm having a lazy day), but its easier then that role, no doubt. So when I forward something to any other department, I try and include as much info as possible, so that that person doesn’t need to question, and understands what the heck I'm talking about. Trying to cut down on those 8+ replies in email, you see.

But the thing is, part of that department is to do the investigations, and find out the info being requested is correct. Now, while I only have the basic systems that I use to ‘research’, that department has this and more. So not only is it easier for them, but BETTER too!!

Instead I have to deal with someone who doesn’t get it, who goes to other people to explain the situation, when they also don’t get it!!
And THEN, I feel like a bitch, cause I have to be straight forward and not go that extra step, cause even then its not ‘got’!!

I hate that this situation makes my job harder, I hate that I come to work and have frustrations that shouldn’t be there, because someone who wants to take the easy way out is doing wrong things. I hate that I see my friend stressed to the max, and I hate that I put more on her plate, just because I know that she gets it. I hate that I try so hard to be as clear as possible, but then it’s a waste of time, cause it means nothing, and I have to be (what I think is) a bitch so that it gets through, (sometimes)!! I hate that I'm not the only who has this problem, and I hate that people have started coming to me to clarify things, that this person has said (when they were completely wrong). I hate that I have to change who I am, so that it is seen that this person is incompetent.

All this because that person had a degree and i don't...

All this said though, I'm thinking about what i want to do with more then just now... I'm thinking about real estate... Does anyone or can anyone give me any ideas about that? I have no idea where i got real estate from, but it just seems interesting. That or a travel agent, but that's a lot of pressure to make sure someones holiday/travels is good.