I wanna live here...

So i found this site through this blog which i found through this blog.

(which by the way, i love also, and you should follow it now, if you aren't already).

I know its like scavenger hunt, but its totally worth it.

And i fell in LUURRVVEEEE. Yep.

I want to live here as in, in this persons house:

I would even shower here:

And then i thought i should continue reading here and i fell in love with the next house and the next one and the next one...

I guess it was lust.

Oh and Ps. I HATE my house now.

I want one of these, and one of these, and one of....

...THESE!!

And one of these, although i dont know how practical they would be..

I think these are VERY cool.

Cause i totally have books that are all different sizes and it just irratates me.

Although, pink wouldn't really fit in my colour scheme.

And i think this is AMAZING!!

Anyone love me enough to buy them for me?

Oh, and a house big enough for all of them?

That'll totally help.

PS. There are about a billion more on this blog

But im not primary school kid!!

I went to the doctors today, and i haven't been in many years, so it was obviously bad.

But, I'm hoping that i can get a second opinion, cause while i liked/didn't hate what the doctor had to say, i think i got my little sister sick too, and we have both had this before, so its kinda odd that we both got it a second, cause its supposed to be a once in life type of thing.

Its CHICKEN POX.

.....Yes, i know that I'm not 5 years old, but it was still diagnosed as that.

So anyway, here are the symptoms of Chicken Pox and the purple are the ones that i have.

Fever ~ But its winter and i thought the whole going from cold outside to heated inside was doing it.

Headaches ~ But i usually get these all the time, so not a huge deal

Backache ~ I was sleeping on a fold out bed, so i blamed that.

Loss of appetite

Itchy, red rash which soon develops into blister-like sores - mild to severe itching ~ I just thought they were bug bites until they tripled (and ps. not blisters yet)

So i only didn't have one out of five, BUT i don't usually eat that much anyway, so to not eat all of my lunch/dinner or any of my breakfast, not a "thing".

Anyway, like i was saying, i wasn't sure whether i had chicken pox before or not, so i called, (alright, i msged them), to not only find out if i had had it before, but to also warn them, cause i was just visiting them on the weekend, (hence the fold out bed) and while it was confirmed, I also found out that my little sister, also found that she had spots... Uh oh...

BUT!!!

Here's the thing, we have both had it before!!

So either my doctor who said, and i quote "If its not the chicken pox, i have no idea WHAT it is", is wrong and its not that, and well, good luck to me.

OR, he is right and its very very odd, that two people who had the 'pox' got it a second time. (Yes, i know that its possible to get it twice, but two people in the same family to get it twice? Odd).

I find out tomorrow, or i don't find out and just assume*.

Either way, i have to stay away from work til Monday. Pregnant lady at work, and i don't want her child to be all misformed cause of me.

So after the doctor gives me my diagnosis, I will update. The sister is going to the doctors tomorrow too.

*Please note, that i went through a low blood sugar period where i was fainting a LOT and i had a blood test and the doctor 'forgot' to check the blood sugarness of the blood, so hopefully this (different) doctor isn't like that one...

***UPDATE***

So i got a call from the doctor (a day after he said he would get the results), and its NOT chicken pox. When i asked what else it could be..??

HE HAD NO FU(*ING IDEA.

BUT!!! (and this is the best bit)

He said I was fine to go back to work.

So lets recap.

He doesn't know what i have.

He is not aware if im contagious, (ps. i am cause my little sister has it too).

BUT He is happy for me to go back to work.

Nuff said, im going to see another doctor tomorrow.

I have until monday off.

***UPDATE #2***

So i went to a second doctors and she agreed that it WAS chicken pox...

But that i should still have the rest of the week off.

My sister went to the doctors and hers are apparently a viral rash..

So now im really confused.

And i CAN NOT WAIT to go back to work. I know, sad right?

Whats a degree worth?

I'm having a situation at work again.

It relates back to here. And it’s getting to the point where I can’t deal.

In my job, I come across things that need to be communicated out and I am not ‘allowed’ to do this and have to forward to another department. (The department I applied and was denied to).

Now, the person in that role, isn’t the brightest, and doesn’t always get what I mean when I explain as clearly as I can. It also makes it difficult, as when I'm having trouble, it kinda looks like its spiteful trouble, but it really isn’t. (OK, I’ll admit, it is a teeny bit, but not enough to want to make my job harder for spite.)

The last time I suggested something to be communicated, it took 8+ emails and replies for it eventually be escalated to a manager with the issue still not resolved. And I'm not talking one or two line emails. The original request was the shortest, and was 10+ lines explaining clearly what I wanted.

My job is not easy, (well, it sometimes is easy, but only when all the work is done, or I'm having a lazy day), but its easier then that role, no doubt. So when I forward something to any other department, I try and include as much info as possible, so that that person doesn’t need to question, and understands what the heck I'm talking about. Trying to cut down on those 8+ replies in email, you see.

But the thing is, part of that department is to do the investigations, and find out the info being requested is correct. Now, while I only have the basic systems that I use to ‘research’, that department has this and more. So not only is it easier for them, but BETTER too!!

Instead I have to deal with someone who doesn’t get it, who goes to other people to explain the situation, when they also don’t get it!!
And THEN, I feel like a bitch, cause I have to be straight forward and not go that extra step, cause even then its not ‘got’!!

I hate that this situation makes my job harder, I hate that I come to work and have frustrations that shouldn’t be there, because someone who wants to take the easy way out is doing wrong things. I hate that I see my friend stressed to the max, and I hate that I put more on her plate, just because I know that she gets it. I hate that I try so hard to be as clear as possible, but then it’s a waste of time, cause it means nothing, and I have to be (what I think is) a bitch so that it gets through, (sometimes)!! I hate that I'm not the only who has this problem, and I hate that people have started coming to me to clarify things, that this person has said (when they were completely wrong). I hate that I have to change who I am, so that it is seen that this person is incompetent.

All this because that person had a degree and i don't...

All this said though, I'm thinking about what i want to do with more then just now... I'm thinking about real estate... Does anyone or can anyone give me any ideas about that? I have no idea where i got real estate from, but it just seems interesting. That or a travel agent, but that's a lot of pressure to make sure someones holiday/travels is good.

Now, then, and later...

I'm not sure what is up with me lately, but i have been thinking some things and wanting somethings, and remembering some other things...

I'm sure everyone goes through this 'thing' at one time or another, and now is just my time.

I have been at work lately, and i have started thinking about 8 years ago...

I wanna go to Penrith Plaza for one more late night shopping.

I wanna to Panthers and Krispy Kreme for just one more Saturday night Hulk drinking session.

I wanna go to Mt Druitt Westfields, just to see how much its changed since i last went there.

I wanna go to hang out with my older friends when we had no worries and we just did nothing, but everything at the same time.

I wanna just go back to then, and i don't know, i know in my mind, I'm expecting the world to be good again, and everything to be safe and no worries and all that junk.

I want to have one more night driving around and playing pool and watching movies with no rush on when the night had to be over.

I want to know that i can stay up all night and not have to worry about needing to be up for a certain time to have enough energy for work.

I want to go shopping with no concern about rent or credit cards or bills. I want to be able to buy presents for my family and friends and have no limit on how much i can spend on any of them.

And then i think about 8 years from now...

I hope to have travelled, overseas at least twice.. hopefully not always for the snow..

I hope to have paid off most of my debt, and not to have added to it.

I hope to have purchased some real estate, or at least have enough money for a deposit.

I hope that i will have a job that i am happy in and not bored by or frustrated by every day.

I don't know if i want kids by then, but if i did have one/some then i hope they are happy and make me happy.

If i could do and have all that, just one more time, i will be content.

Oh, and PS. I'm being told that Penrith is misspelt... It is not, although I'm sure people from Penriff would disagree.

All about the music

So apparently its all about the music for lately, as the title states...

I have been listening to the songs on my iPhone more and more lately. And the music is talking to me.

Now, this post I'm talking about a different song, but i just need some opinions/thoughts.

So i love Supernatural, its great, and i really really enjoy the music that is in it, so the music guy, good job!!

Anyway, i downloaded the title song* 'Carry on Wayward Son'

Lyrics:

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming
I can hear them say

{Refrain

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know

On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune
But I hear the voices say

{Refrain
No!

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
The center lights around your vanity
But surely heaven waits for you

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry (don't you cry no more)

And you can watch the 1976** video here, (cause its live, it sounds a little different though...)

Anyway, back to my thoughts about it.

Now, I'm not super religious, i believe in God and all that, i just am not a church going, ever praying religious person.

BUT!! That's why this thought is strange.

I get a lot of religious undertones in this song... Does anyone else see it?

Lets go through it.

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done

This is like, keep trying to push through and not sin and junk, cause HEAVEN will be peaceful.

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming
I can hear them say

Still a blind man, hey? And a mad man? Does that mean, you are still sinning, and not all worthy yet?

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
The center lights around your vanity
But surely heaven waits for you

Nothing equals the splendor? Centre light? Heaven waits for you?

All of it is there!!

Can anyone else see/read it?

OR, it could be all about drugs too....

*It kinda isn't really, but that link explains it, so just click!!

**That would 9 years before i was even alive... OLD!

PS. Does anyone else remember this song? Before kissing girls was way cool...

Hey Jude

Have you ever had one of those songs that just keeps coming up in your head over and over?

Not like one of those annoying songs like this.

But a good song, that you may have heard only once or twice, but its just stuck in your mind, like its supposed to mean something, or be a sign or something..?!!?

This song has been playing in my head for the last few weeks.

I even woke up with it playing in my mind this morning.

I'm not a huge Beatles fan, not that i don't think that they are great and awesome, they are.

Its just it wasn't the music that i was bought up on, so have only ever heard it here and there.

This song came on the radio at work and it hasn't left me at all.

Below are the lyrics and i have bolded the two sections that just pop out to me.

Anyway, hopefully, i 'get the message' and everything works out.

Hey jude, dont make it bad.

Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better.

Hey jude, dont be afraid.

You were made to go out and get her.

The minute you let her under your skin,

Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,

Dont carry the world upon your shoulders.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

Hey jude, dont let me down.

You have found her, now go and get her.

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin,

Youre waiting for someone to perform with.

And dont you know that its just you, hey jude, youll do,

The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey jude, dont make it bad.

Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her under your skin,

Then youll begin to make it

Better better better better better better, oh.

Na na na na na ,na na na, hey jude...

Meh...

I haven't really got much to say recently...

I have been having a bit of a meh time.. as the title says.

Im just getting a bit over it all. Work, paying bills and the whole being an adult thing.

I had basically a breakdown at work the other day. An hour and a half meeting with my boss later, and i seemed to get my point across. I'll see whether it will make a difference by the end of next week. I dont have high hopes.

I am seriously thinking about leaving, but i have a trip all planned and booked for a week in August, so if i did quit and got a new job, i couldn't exactly ask for time off... Not the best look...

And then me and hubby were talking about going on a big holiday, like possibly a working holiday, and my current job has a thing called a career break, which could work better for me as well... So lets hope i get good news by Friday...

My husband got changed to monthly pay, so that is gonna be fun when he gets paid... Even though our salaries got into a 'shared' account, he is the type where money burns a hole in his pocket, even when he doesn't have any!! So, im really looking forward to that first pay...

Going to see Bruno on Thursday with a bunch of people from work... Not too thrilled about going with work people, but thrilled that work got the tickets for FREE for us...!! Plus going the a bar before hand should settle the not thrilledness to not caring, so cheering.

Anyway, thats all i got for now.

I'll update the work result, and Bruno night.

Am i a bad person?

So, with all these birthday posts, i don't really need to say it again...

I wanted to go to the casino, but most people cancelled, **jerks** but the ones that did say they were coming would have made it awesome, and i was happy enough.

So just to get the story straight here are the people that were coming.

D - She has 3 kids and was so excited about coming to the Casino cos she had never been before. She had organised a babysitter since April.

Z - Husband, he had no choice but to come. : ) He also is a bit of a gambler-holic, so wouldn't turn down the Casino.

M - A girl i went to school with and have been friends with for more then 10 years. I have also gone to every party that she have ever had, and made a huge effort to make sure i was there for her. She, on the other hand, has never come out to celebrate my birthday, cause she is from the sticks and doesn't like the city. She also cancelled on my wedding. THE DAY OF IT. After she had invited another person to it. She had told me when she confirmed she was coming out for my birthday, that she had plans that day already, but would still come out.

Not many people, but enough to have a good night, and fun.

Cut to Saturday, and Z took the day off work on Friday, to not only shop for my present, (here) and to clean the house, not just clean, but spotless. I then woke up on Saturday, and finished the house, like cleaning the bathroom, and the kitchen and making everything crazy clean. We even vacuumed. I know, right?

Anyway, its getting to like 3pm, and i have been msging D on and off all day, trying to figure out what time she would be arriving, so i could make sure someone was not waiting, cause I'm nice like that.

So all of a sudden i get a sms from M (who had msged me earlier and was still coming), saying she was so so so so so etc etc tired form her day plans and couldn't make it.

I, being pissed off, replied back not a hugely nice msg, but came around to accepting her not coming, cause seriously was she really going to turn up from the beginning?

I told D, and D started contacting her, (i don't know what she said, just some of the replies), however, i was just over it.

M then tried to guilt D because M was going to see her grandma, and then decided that she wanted to come out with us again. Once more i didn't reply.

M ended up deciding that she would come, (either though i twice said to her not to, if it would cause her to spend the night thinking she should have been with her grandma with all the passive aggressiveness i could muster), but wouldn't be there til like 9 or 10. Considering we were going to eat and didn't leave my house til 8, it would kinda work out. I was a little disappointed.

So we (Z, D and me) ended up going to the casino and we had dinner and it was a good dinner, but trust me when i say, DO NOT BUY DAIQUIRI'S from Bite Me. They will taste like soda water and add $35 to your bill.

After dinner, we went in and gambled.... We lost almost $200 until we found a good table... We are Roulette Fiends. : p

We got drinks and spent some more. Gamble, etc etc. All the casino things. All the while, we ended up getting one sms and one call from M, the first to say that she was leaving then, and the call about an hour later, so we figured she had arrived.

We kinda ignored the call.... That's the first kinda mean thing... BUT, in my defence, i totally sms'ed her when we were at the bar about 10 mins later, and said what bar we were at...

She ended up sms'ing back, confused, as she had, in fact, not arrived, so i had no idea why she called both me and D.

Z, D and me went back to the gambling, and at this point, we were going bad again, and losing money...

By this point we had been there about 3, maybe 4 hours... It was about 11.30 when we left.

We left without seeing M at all.

I did msg her when we got into the cab, saying that we ran out of money and had left.

**She does know my address and that's where we were heading back to. **

She called me, but my phone is always on silent and was in my bag, so i kinda didn't ignore her call, but kinda did...

She then called D, who answered the phone, they started talking, but because we had a bit to drink, D couldn't not laugh about the whole situation, and ......hung up on M.

M then msged D and she was not happy.....

That was basically it for the night, however, D and M have been talking and M is still apparently pissed about it...

Oh... last year, after a little too many drinks, we (different group, but D was also there), kinda drunk dialled M, and kinda advised her what kind of friend she was for missing everything.... **It wasn't me on the phone, but i didn't stop it. **

So am i a bad person for this?

I will take any opinions.

Birthdays maybe don't suck....

So this is an update of the last past...

My husband kinda did good... And i felt a little bad about the last post...

Here is what he got me..

So he has a thing with Superman.... And so when he saw the jocks in Cotton On Body, he couldn't not get them for me... I couldn't get a picture, but what the model is wearing (jocks and bra) here is what i got, (only i wish i had her body). Plus some jocks with wonder woman on the behind.

He also got me the following DVDs:

Outrageous Fortune is AMAZING!!

Its a New Zealand show, and you should watch it now.

He did get me season 4, (i think) and its great. We watched the first 2 disks on my birthday, and i didn't even realise the time, and it ended up being like 6pm and i had no dinner, but I just couldn't not watch, so ended up watching it until like 1am, and i had to go to bed cause i had to work on Monday.

True Blood.

Wow.

That's all i have to say.

Wow.

Go watch it now. Right now. But don't get creeped out by the opening credits, (I guess that's what they are called), cause there is one bit that still creeps me out.

Oh, and he got me season 1, but we had already watched it, so didn't yesterday.

Grounded for Life.

This is just a fun little show that i watched when i was still living at home, and i just like it alright?

I don't wanna suggest you go see this as well, cause then man, you will be busy.

But just do it too. If you want to have a good easy lazy laugh.

He also made me breakfast (on the couch), and I basically didn't leave it all day.

He walked down the street and bought food and the newspapers, so that i wouldn't have to, and it was pretty good.

Not hugely different to any other weekend, (look, I'm not lazy, but meh). But nice all the same.

Birthdays suck...

So today is Friday, and it’s my birthday on Sunday.

In 2 days I will be 24. Gosh, I'm old.

But this post isn't about me being old, but about other birthday complaints.

I know birthdays, for the most part, are supposed to be all about being happy etc etc, but I don't get that feeling.

My hubby was asking me what I wanted for my birthday, and I don’t think that I am the type to 'want' for anything. Sure, I want to buy a bunch of stuff that I will probably never take the tags off or use, but never enough to actually get the buying happening. I always have a better use for the money. **read bills**

I think of birthday presents, I need to get things that I need rather then random crap I just want. I can’t tell you where I got that thought from, I just don’t like wasting money on myself, when I worry so much about the other things that need the money, like my credit card and stupid ‘responsible’ things like that.

What I really wanted was to go to the casino, (I know, I know, the complete opposite of what I was just saying, but its been soooooo long since I went there and roulette is usually a safe bet), with a bunch of friends and to have a good night out.

Cut to the days after I invited a few different people, one can’t come because an uncles birthday, another can’t come because they have a dentist appointment that day, and might still be drugged up, (and who doesn't like drinking after drugs, I ask???) another one, can’t come cause someone else’s 21st.
Oh, and the people that are coming?
One was coming only because ‘she has never been to the casino before and always wanted to, but wont be staying long and probably wont drink or gamble’ (yes, she said that to me….), another can only come after she has put her kids to bed and probably will leave early to make sure she is there when they wake up.

Now, I don’t mind baby maker (terrible nickname – sorry) having to leave, but the other ‘friend’ I want to punch. She lives an hour train trip away (which equals, like maybe at most, 45 min car drive), she has a car and I don’t. She has never come out to celebrate my birthday, cause ‘she doesn't like the city’ (this was said to baby maker, who then told me), yet, I have come to every single party she has had.
She also didn't come to my wedding. But!! Didn't tell me til the day of, and she was going to be our photographer…
Yep. My wedding – she was photographer and a little flu made her not show… And all I got was a sms on the DAY of the wedding… Luckily husband invited someone else who was going to take photos anyway, but nice huh?


Anyway, back to the birthday.

I hate the question, what do you want for your birthday?
I really really don’t know… I can’t think of things on the spot like that.. And I feel bad asking for things, cause I'm all, 'we need to pay all the bills, you can’t spend money' Nazi person lately.

I have thought of some things that I could probably have for my birthday though…


~ A good massage… Not a half hearted one handed one, but a good massage that is done nicely.

~ A FULL 24 hours (or more) of you not mentioning the stupid snow trip to me. I don’t care for the cold or the snow. I honestly don’t want to go, I was only happy to go cause of your broken arm in Japan. But Japan is working out cheaper then this stupid trip. A $5000 accommodation (no, I am not kidding) is worthless if we can’t afford food or lift passes. And no, we will not be using your full months pay during the week that we are there. We need that to pay rent. Or do you not care about that either?

~ Paid off credit cards – no, this does not mean, we put all our money on them, and then can spend it all up again, it means paid off and then cancelled credit cards. I'm sick of ‘our’ debt being under my name.

~ YOU to actually pay off the bills in your name. I don’t want any more of the overdue letters, or the ‘A default is about to be placed’ letters. I want to be able to buy a house one day, and your stupid defaults stopping that is going to really piss me off.

~ A week (I don’t think that’s too much) of not having to worry about money. I hate being the responsible one. I hate it. But if I'm not, then we will both starve and not be able to get to work, cause we wouldn't be able to pay for it.

~ A day of not being called ‘gurl’, or ‘madam’ by people at work.

~ A month of our house being clean and staying clean. I hate having to spend Saturday cleaning and not actually going out, but I also hate living in a pigsty of a house. (Gosh, I sound like my mother )

~ A fixed dishwasher. I don’t want it to beep anymore, I just want it to stop. **Please note, this one I did actually ask for, and so far, it still beeps**

~ To go out to a nice place for dinner, you know all the places that you don't want to go to, when i suggest them, say yes on Sunday. Just once. If i go to these places and they are crap, i won't want to go there anymore, simple.


That's all i have for now, but i know what i do not do not do not want. **Yes, i meant to write that three times**

I do not want a present that YOU will enjoy... Its supposed to be my birthday, not yours. Don't get me stupid DVDs that you will enjoy, but i will still and watch just cause i have nothing better to do. This is not a fun present for me. To even suggest you are going to buy me a Stargate DVD, is not funny or whatever you think it is. I will cry if you give me that on my birthday. I have been emotional lately, and usually i would just laugh along, but on Sunday, i kid you not, I will cry.

OK, so i think that that is enough of birthday complaining.

I will come back on Sunday, and let you know, if i am having a sad birthday or not.


PS. Even though this post sounds like i am high maintenance, i totally am not.



**Update, i just got a notice that there is a parcel at my work and i found out that it was a part of the present that he bought. Yes, i feel like a terrible person.**

Ladies,

I have been noticing a trend that's a happening..

And I wanna point something out to you all.

Now even though it is now winter time (being July and all) its time to start covering yourself up a little more, not less.

While out and about in town you may want to attract the attention of the opposite sex and here is a little tip for you all!!

If when sitting, you are not sitting on at least part of your dress/skirt then it is too short and no doubt someone will be able to see what you had for breakfast.

This is not a turn on for the opposite sex or if you are so inclined the same sex. No, no indeed.

Another thing to note is tights. If you are wearing tights or stockings. These are not pants. So the same rule applies.I would appreciate it if these start happening now.

Thanks.