Saturday, August 29, 2009


So i posted this entry the other day while i was on holidays and not feeling the greatest about being on holidays and what was happening.

I sent the blog post to my friend, to make sure that i wasn't going too far, and to get an opinion on what i had written.
My friend, whom i trust very much, said that she was sad that i was not enjoying my holiday and that it sucked that what was happening, was happening.

So i posted it.

I also spoke to my husband about the situation later on and he was seeing some of the same things as what i was seeing, feeling the same way about certain situations as well.

Now, i want to point out, my husband doesn't know about either of the blogs i have. This one and another. They are a space for me to vent and talk about things that i would either not talk to him about, cause they are just trivial (such as this and this) or i have already spoken to him about it (like this). I don't know if he will ever know about them, but he doesn't right now.

I understand that while my blog is public, that any one can comment and say whatever they want to say on my posts, just like i can say whatever I want on my posts.

But i don't like the need that i now have to defend myself for the words that i have written.
They are MY words, and MY feelings.
These are things I am free to have.

I have to say that unless requested, (like for example, on this blog), i would never leave an anonymous comment. If i have something to say to someone, then I'm not going hide who i am to the person that i am saying something about. I'm not going to hide behind the word 'Anonymous'.

I recognize that i complain about things. That is part of who i am. That is part of me which my friends have accepted. That is part of me, which my family (including the husband AND the people who this post was about).

My Blog is also called, I HATE stuff and things. If i came across a blog titled that, i would expect some negativity. And if i didn't like what i was reading, i would close the page or go to another blog that i DID enjoy.

I also want to point out, not every post is negative.

Now that i have written this post, i am really disappointed that i let these comments get to me so much.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Hello Heaven, lovely to meet you.

I found our what heaven was like today...

I had a awesome amazing magnificent thing happen.

I had a hot stone massage.

It was H E A V E N.

Me and the sister went to a day spa.

**The ONLY thing that I looked forward to during my whole holiday..**

We had a body wrap, which was basically mud put on almost every part of you and you sitting there while it soaked into your skin.

While the waiting happened, the lady gave me a head massage and a hot towel on your face and goodness.

I was so relaxed I could pee.
And then!

I had THE HOT STONE MASSAGE.....

Oh
My
Gosh...

I nearly died of goodness.

First I had a stone under my stomach and even though it felt weird at
first, it was good.
Then there was hot oil and the stones and just wow ness..

The thing is, I couldn't shut my mind off.

I couldn't stop thinking and just be.

In the body wrap, I was thinking of Facebook and Twitter and how I
could describe the goodness in a blog. (which I think I did, quite
well) ; )

Then in the stone massage, this was my mind:

  • mmmm, I wonder if the kebab shop is still open.
  • I have to pack tonight, gosh
  • husband, should we get kebabs for dinner? *cause at this point, I obviously had telepathic powers*
  • I wonder what's for dinner?
  • I really hope we can have kebabs for tea
  • no, not the feet, so ticklish
  • I wonder what the time it is
  • My knee is starting to hurt
  • Great, now its starting to spasm..
  • that hurts but feels so good too
  • aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
  • what day is it today?
  • Thursday? That means I got paid
  • crap that means we spent WAY more then I thought, double crap
But apart from the non stop thinking and not relaxing, it felt good.

I want to be rich and get this done at least once a month.

OR, become like Anna Nicole Smith, and marry a old rich guy and get them once a week...


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Holiday time is family time, and i dont like it.

So I'm on holidays at the moment.

Went to the snow.

I hate the snow. HATE it.

Hate the cold as well.

The husband likes it, and so we went. I figured i could get massages and relax and have a nice time. Good plan, right?

We invited my little brother and sister, (cause they have never been) and my older sister and brother in law. The older sister and brother in law, cancelled on us, and cause everything was already paid for, we invited his sister and her 4 kids. As in the husbands sister, not the brother in laws sister, that would be just weird...

This is what has happened so far.

First day we got here, we had a 7 hour bus trip. Wasn't too bad, except the husband turned off my alarm before we left, so instead of 1 hour + to get ready and make sure we had everything, we had 10 minutes. Yep 10 minutes. Yes, we have already discovered stuff we have forgotten.

The bus trip was not eventful, though, the people sitting in front of the brother and sister, put their chairs the entire way back for the last two hours of the bus ride, so they were squished. Jerks. I hope that they hurt themselves on the snow fields.

The sister in law and children were coming from a different state, so they drove. They drove past where they were supposed to go, and were almost on their way to Canberra, but finally made it.

Yesterday, we had private lessons, two were skiing and the rest snow boarding. Now, i have skied before, i don't love it, but fuck me, if I'm going to be doing anything, i would prefer something that i have control over both my legs and are not strapped into something that will not move.
BUT i did snowboarding. Cause the husband complained at me to do it, and because i would be with a 5 and 10 year old learning if i skied. Not my idea of fun...

Any way, i quit the lesson halfway. I hate failing at anything, and i hate having no control. Both things of which i was doing in the 'learning' process.

PS. Keep in mind the 'teacher' told my little sister, the best way to stop is to just fall. Awesome teaching there, me thinks...

So meanwhile, while the others finished the lesson, i 'hung out' with the youngest child who is 5, and who cracked the shits while she was in her lesson... Great fun was had by all.

The leads me to today.

I had plans to laze around the WARM house, and possible go outside and down to the shops. Maybe go on the chair lift, whatever... Figured i could meet the others for lunch or something, but have no plans and no one tying me down...

How wrong i was...

The husband thought he would do a good thing, and suggest since i was going to be at home anyway, i could look after the two kids that didn't want to go on the big chair lift. In fact, suggested this in front of his sister who loved the idea, cause she wanted to get boarding more, (cause she had to cut her lesson short cause of the kid who cracked the shits). Now, i didn't mind the idea, but this was not what i planned for MY holiday. MY holiday that i was looking forward to, cause i was wanting to get massages and RELAX.
Not be a babysitter, cause i didn't want to board down a huge hill.

Another thing is NOISE.

I know kids aren't quiet, i get that, i know that they aren't just a little noisy, no, they are HUGELY NOISY, like, if i was another guest and was next door to us, i would be complaining and DEMANDING to be moved, no joke.
And they aren't just noisy during the day, no, try 7am in the morning when they wake up and ONLY THEY are awake. That's when they are noisy. They also
don't know how to walk quietly. They were playing skipping in the house on the second floor and the husband was encouraging them. I was downstairs and i swear, i saw whatever roofs are made of, fall from the roof.
I mean, i know that they are excited and all that junk, but fuck me, shut up.
(Did i spell roofs right? Or is it spelt rooves like hooves? Although now that im looking at hooves, that looks wrong, even though it looked right in my mind, anyway...)

And apparently, shutting doors is a thing of the past.

When you walk into our apartment, there is a door to the hallway, which is like 2 steps from the door to the outside and SNOW and COLD. There is a little room that we keep all our boots and snow covered stuff in, and then there is another door, to the actual apartment. Where we LIVE and HAVE HEATERS ON. You know, the place that NEEDS to be kept WARM.

Now, Me, husband and brother and sister are sleeping in the bottom level, we only have little heaters in our rooms, so it gets pretty damn cold. You might have forgotten, but i HATE the cold.

The kids and sister in law, are upstairs. Upstairs with the fireplace and another heater in the bedrooms, which gets a tad warm sometimes...

I guess cause it doesn't affect them, but the upstairs people 'forget' to shut the inside door. Which means, the coldness gets into the bedrooms and we freeze. They also have left their jacket caught in the OUTSIDE door (which kept it open) and left the inside door open, which means, we were basically completely open to the elements...Awesome huh?

I have told them firmly a bunch of times.

Now, don't get me wrong, i love these people, and i enjoy their company, (for small periods of time), but i have another 4 days of this, and its supposed to be MY holiday.

I also can't exactly say to the husband, who is having a great time with MY sister and brother that i am hating it, and the reasons why....

I also have no idea when or where i can get a
friggen massage from and rather then walk down the hill in the howling wind i asked the husband to ask where, and they came back with just two business cards... I don't know what these people do, or what.

I just don't know if i can handle another 4 days of this...


And now i am apparently the anti social one, cause I'm tucked up in bed when everyone went out to have one last ski before the lifts closed, and don't want to get out of the warmness within seconds of them coming back.



Ps. I wasn't going to blog about this, but i was just left alone in the house, and i could feel a breeze coming from somewhere and where was it? The bloody door!! Left wide open, and making me cold when i have two pairs of pants, a top, a beanie and a scarf on!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

I feel old.


My legs hurt if i stand for a long time, long being less then 5 minutes. And then they hurt for a long time after...

My feet hurt most of the time.

My head hurts almost always when im awake. More so when im at work...

I get heart burn sometimes, not a lot...

And lately, and this is the most concerning...

Im having trouble breathing... Like, i can't take deep breathes, AND i can't yawn properly. I can only half yawn, and i feel like an idiot cause i still continue to yawn...

I hate to think what it will be like when i am really old and all the old person ailments start happening...

I feel old.

Im only 24.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Paul

A man from my work passed away the other day.

I had never met him but I can sense the loss.

He worked in our overseas office and I had spoken to him many times.

I look at facebook and I can see the hurt in the others (from that office) faces and know that a great person is gone.

I feel like I shouldn't be feeling such a sense of loss but I am.

I feel like something in our office should be done for him and his
family but I doubt hardly anyone knows.

People seem shocked and then non concerned when i tell them.

I'm stuck in the middle.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Adding to the hoopla.


At the moment, there is a big hoopla about Kyle Sandilands and his radio show
Now, i hate that I'm writing this, cause personally, i can't stand either him, nor her (Jackie O), but i have an opinion and the way the media is bringing this story is killing me!!

Now, a short run down on the dets...

Kyle and Jackie have a BREAKFAST radio show. They were also the hosts of Big Brother for one season before it got canned. Kyle 'was' also a judge on Australian Idol. (Jackie O did some other stuff too, but she is of little importance').


**Note, neither of them are counsellors or claim to be.**


So, breakfast radio here consists of each station trying to out do each other in terms of WOW factor, and scandlousness.(Yep, that's totally a word).
Honestly, i haven't really listened to breakfast radio since i was at school (7 years, gosh I'm old), so i only hear the excerpts of which they play through out the day.
But i have heard nothing except this for the last few days and now I am adding to this. Sigh.

So the segment was a lie detector test segment. Pretty basic right?

The subject (is that the right word?) of the lie detector test was a 14 year old girl.
The giver of the questions was her mother. ~~~Remember this part!
Kyle and Jackie O were there to comment, i guess.

Now, i didn't hear the segment at the time, just excerpts of it for the first day or so, but i have listened to the whole thing now.
I don't know, if Kyle or Jackie O knew what questions the child's mother were
going to ask or not.

This is what happened:



Now, lets make it clear.
Her MOTHER asked her the question.
Her MOTHER was smiling and thought it was funny.
Her MOTHER knew she was raped. Both Kyle, Jackie O and the producers are saying that they did not know about the rape.

Yes, i think it is pretty silly to be asking a 14 year old about her sexual experience, cause in my opinion, 14 year old should not be having sex, however, that's not the point here. At least not the point in my opinion.

Yes, again, i think that Kyle may have said the wrong thing right after the comment, however, as i said earlier, neither of them (himself or Jackie) are counsellors or claim to be.
They are radio announcers and did what they needed to, to make sure there was not silence.


While i think maybe that last line is a bit hmmmm, i have to agree with him.
The child's mother has barely been mentioned in this fiasco.
Nor has Jackie O.
The media has jumped on this story and jumped on Kyle because he has this 'bad boy image'.
And no matter what the issue they have with him, that should not have happened.

Meanwhile...
Kyle has been dropped as a judge of Australian Idol for the controversy this issue has caused, not for the comment he made.
The Kyle and Jackie O show has been put on 'recess' for a week, (so far, although this article says differently...)
The following companies have dropped there sponsorship of 2day FM:
Amercian Express
Optus
Channel 10
Qantas
I don't doubt these will be the only ones that will drop their sponsorship, because of the backlash that is currently happening. And that makes me really sad.

If you want to listen to the audio, check out this article, they have a link to the audio.

Now, i feel sick thinking about this poor child and not only what she had gone through on the radio, but what had happened to her, and that she hadn't gotten ANY COUNSELLING OR ANY HELP AT ALL until this point.
The producers of the show have organised counselling for this poor child.
DOCS have also become involved.
This whole thing and the media circus that it has been created into, just makes me sad.
**UPDATE**
Here is a transcription of the incident.
The on-air exchange that started it all

JACKIE O: What's your worst fear, is it the sex, is it the lying, the possibility of doing drugs, smoking?
MOTHER: Drugs and sex and older boys
JACKIE O: Has she (the 14-year-old daughter) told you she's had sex before or do you think she's a virgin?
MOTHER: I think she might have had sex before.
JACKIE O: Right. But she hasn't said anything?
MOTHER: No.
JACKIE O: (Laughs) Alright we have her (the daughter) hooked up to the lie detector!
KYLE: Ohhhh!
JACKIE O: She's not happy! I just saw her listening to that replay!
KYLE: How are you (name)?
DAUGHTER: I'm scared!
MOTHER: Have you had sex?
DAUGHTER: I've already told you about this and don't look at me and smile because it's not funny! (Pause) Oh, OK! I got raped when I was 12-years-old!
(Silence) KYLE: Right. And is that the only experience you've had?
MOTHER: I only found out about that a couple of months ago. Yes, I knew about that.
DAUGHTER: And yet you still asked me the question.
MOTHER: The question was, have you had sex, other than that?The on-air exchange that started it all
JACKIE O: What's your worst fear, is it the sex, is it the lying, the possibility of doing drugs, smoking?
MOTHER: Drugs and sex and older boys
JACKIE O: Has she (the 14-year-old daughter) told you she's had sex before or do you think she's a virgin?
MOTHER: I think she might have had sex before.
JACKIE O: Right. But she hasn't said anything?
MOTHER: No.
JACKIE O: (Laughs) Alright we have her (the daughter) hooked up to the lie detector!
KYLE: Ohhhh!
JACKIE O: She's not happy! I just saw her listening to that replay!
KYLE: How are you (name)?
DAUGHTER: I'm scared!
MOTHER: Have you had sex?
DAUGHTER: I've already told you about this and don't look at me and smile because it's not funny! (Pause) Oh, OK! I got raped when I was 12-years-old!
(Silence) KYLE: Right. And is that the only experience you've had?
MOTHER: I only found out about that a couple of months ago. Yes, I knew about that.
DAUGHTER: And yet you still asked me the question.
MOTHER: The question was, have you had sex, other than that?

If you are a victim of, or want to report a rape, you can call 1800 424 017 or get some online help here.

If you want to report anything relating to child abuse or neglect, you can call 132 111 (TTY 1800 212 936), or go here.



If i missed anything or am misinformed about anything that i have written, please feel free to correct me.