Sunday, November 29, 2009


Spent a day with the God kidlets.

Fun was had by all.

PS. Although the God parental ness was given to me, I would love them nonetheless.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Mash up dos

Why do people lie?
I'm not saying this, cause I'm all truth telling, i lie too.
But i curious as to why?

We say all sorts of things, that are 'white lies', but in the end, won't it hurt the person more then if you told the truth right away?

We claim, that we are sparing their feelings when we say they look good in that outfit, that we loved their Christmas/birthday gift, that we will be friends forever, but then we don't or aren't.

But really, we aren't.
We are just making it easier on ourselves cause we don't have to explain.

So can someone tell me?


Why we squash a bug, we don't care.
But like if a person died, do you think the bugs family (if you can call it that) mourns? Like ants, there are about a billion of them, do they notice when an ant gets squashed and doesn't come back to the nest?

What about puppies and kittens? At pet shops and or breeders? Do you think that the other puppies/kittens realise that their brother or sister is gone, or are they just happy there is more room for them? Do you reckon that they are sad?


I cooked dinner for my husband tonight.
He fell asleep halfway through me cooking it.
He is still asleep.
He hasn't eaten any of it yet.
This makes me cross.

Friday, November 20, 2009


I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things. You would see that as soon as you start reading this blog.
Sometimes they contradict, but so what?
That means i can see both sides of the coin of whatever.

Anyway, i have strong opinions about certain things, like child abuse and the law and i really should have continued my stroll into a job in DOCS or welfare or something, but i get lazy, and i was young, and stupid, but anyway.

But then there are things that just make me angry and sad for the world.

THIS is one of them.

Now for those that don't know.

Victor Chang was an AMAZING man.

Wiki says:

Surgical career
In St Vincent's Hospital, he worked with surgeons Dr. Harry Windsor (who had performed Australia's first heart transplant in 1968) and Dr. Mark Shanahan. The advent of anti-rejection drugs in 1980 made heart transplants more feasible, and Chang lobbied politicians and businessmen to raise funds to establish a heart transplant program at St. Vincent's. The first transplant under the program was performed on the 14-year old Fiona Coote on 24 February 1984.

Between 1984 and 1990 Dr. Chang's unit performed over 197 heart transplants and 14 heart-lung transplants. The unit had a high rate of success with 90% of those receiving transplants from the unit surviving beyond the first year. In 1986, Victor Chang was appointed a Companion of the Order of Australia (AC) "In recognition of service to international relations between Australia and China and to medical science".

Concerned about a shortage of organ donors, he arranged financing and assembled a team of scientists and engineers from around the world to develop an artificial heart. That team, working in Singapore, Guangzhou and Sydney, also developed mechanical and tissue heart valves called the St. Vincent's Heart Valves, which were widely implanted throughout Asia. Dr. Chang and his team also made significant progress on the design of an artificial heart. His research projects ended with his death.


Life-size bronze statue of Chang outside the Victor Chang Cardiac Research Institute. On 15 February 1994, the Victor Chang Cardiac Research Institute, a body intended to focus on researching "the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of heart muscle diseases", was launched by Prime Minister Paul Keating with Kerry Packer as its patron. The "Dr Victor Chang Science Labs" in Christian Brothers' High School are named after him. In 1999, Prime Minister John Howard announced Chang as Australian of the Century at the People's Choice Awards.

In St Vincent's Hospital, the Victor Chang Lowy Packer Building was established in 2008 with AU$35 million from the state government and $45 million in corporate and private donations. Mary, Crown Princess of Denmark officially opened the building and declared that Chang "was an original thinker and saw the need for research and the development of heart assist devices and, not least, he is known for his legendary caring for his patients and their families". In Time magazine's "A Golden Anniversary" article, which lists people who have shaped the last "50 Years In the South Pacific" (1959–2009), Chang was listed as the figure of 1979–1989.

There is no denying the awesome work that he did and that he made able to continue. And I'm not saying that in the slightest.

What i am saying, is why does the law for EVERYONE get to be changed for him?

What about the other murderers who were let out on the earliest parole date and there was no public outcry about their victims?
Are the others victims lesser people?
What about their families? (the victims, not the killers)
AND why when the decision was already made, and this murderer's family were probably told and aware, then baboom, nope, retracted.
Where was this outcry when the parole hearing came up?
Will the same outcry happen next year when he will be up against the board again? Or will people have forgotten by then again?
Will this outcry happen when his sentence is completed? What will happen then? The law won't be able to do anything then.

I understand that the law is not followed by everyone, just look at the recent Hollywood starlets for any examples, but this person served his time.
At least the time that judge/jury thought was enough for him to be punished. (don't even get me started on the crap sentences that we give out nowadays).

I, in no way, think this person deserved to be let out AT ALL, for killing another human being, this person should be sent to an island with all the other murders to live away from normal people for the rest of their lives. I just hate that the law changes for some people, and i think its unfair for this person, cause again, he is a person.
These type of situations make me think we should still have the death penalty, but then what about the innocent people who are on death row? So I'm in two minds again.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Bad day. Bad, bad day.

So far:

~ I woke up early, so i could leave early, but i was dilly dallying so i ended up leaving at the same time as usual.

~ I realised that i needed to pick up something from the post office, but forgot the slip thing. (I think they would have been my cute new cowboy boots for the Christmas party, and that would have made me happy.)

~ I use a ticket machine that says 'EXACT FARE ONLY'.
I had the exact fare.
I put in the exact fare.
The stupid machine ate my money.
I was buying a weekly ticket.
$27 down the drain.
I went to the people working.
First one blamed it on me, (the machine now said, 'NO NOTES' cause it ate mine).
I went to the manager. She did nothing except say 'I want to help you only didn't.
Had to buy another ticket. Total cost $54. ANGER.

~ Missed my train cause of the hoopla that just happened.

~ Tried to listen to calming music on the train, (all the good stuff, Linkin Park, Rage, etc), but only one of my earphones would work.

~ Bought toast from the place i go to EVERY DAY.
They burnt it.
I saw the girl go to put it in the bin, but then didn't.
She then scraped off the BLACK and gave it to me.


And now i have to deal with the stupid people who call me all day. (That's my job).
Its gonna be a LONG day.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Amazing SuperHuman.

Kurt Fearnley

Now i don't know if you all know the Kokoda Track but to walk it is a HUGE thing where i am from.

Its 96Kms (approx 60 miles) over land, and that alone would put me off.

Wiki says:
The Kokoda Track or Trail is a single-file foot thoroughfare that runs 96 kilometres (60 mi) overland — 60 kilometres (37 mi) in a straight line — through the Owen Stanley Range in Papua New Guinea. The track is the most famous in Papua New Guinea and is renowned as the location of the World War II battle between Japanese and Australian forces in 1942.

The track starts, or ends, at Owers Corner in Central Province, 50 kilometres (31 mi) east of Port Moresby, and then crosses rugged and isolated, terrain, which is only passable on foot, to the village of Kokoda in Oro Province. It reaches a height of 2,190 metres (7,185 ft) as it passes around the peak of Mount Bellamy.[1]

Hot, humid days with intensely cold nights, torrential rainfall and the risk of endemic tropical diseases such as malaria make it a challenge to walk. Despite the challenge posed it is a popular hike that takes between four and twelve days (depending on fitness). Locals have been known to hike the route in three days.

Now, there has been deaths. Many deaths, (i mean after the war), when fit able bodied people have attempted to walk the Track.

Since 2001 there has been a rapid increase in the number of people walking the track. Six Australian trekkers have died from natural causes while attempting to walk the track. Four of those deaths have occurred in 2009, with two in the same week in April and another two 8 days apart in September and October. The deaths have sparked calls for mandatory fitness tests for all walkers before starting.

As popularity for walking the track has increased there have been calls for more regulation of trek operators with some operators taking as many as 150 walkers in a group. In response the Kokoda Track Authority has announced that from the beginning of 2010 tour operators must have a commercial licence which will "address things such as training requirements, first aid details, insurance and conditions for the porters".

But then you have people like Kurt.
Kurt was born without the lower part of his spine.
He just finished walking (crawling) the Kokoda Track.

He had people with him. But he mostly did it on his own.

He says:

Says Fearnley: "For me, a lot of my job is to race for Australia, but you need to pause and think what it is that makes us who we are. Australia has such a tie with Kokoda.

"The history of the guys who fought there has always intrigued me. It is also a chance for me and my family and friends (12 are travelling with him, and adventure company Kokoda Spirit is involved) to get together to experience something unique and challenging and positive. Kokoda is all about mateship and looking out for each other. Everyone says to me: 'You're mad, what are you thinking?"'

Fearnley puts it into perspective. During World War II, "people were crawling down there with legs missing, with limbs missing, with bullets shooting at them, with dysentery, with malaria, with an army on their heels - so whatever happens to us, no matter how tough we seem to be having it, people have had it far worse".


For more info check out here

Ps. From 2001 to 2008, he raced in 32 marathons, winning 22 and finishing in a place on the other occasions, including three straight wins in the New York marathon. He has pushed his body to the finishing line in a chair with busted wheels and broken frames.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I got a call yesterday.
It was a blocked number and I have had issues in the past about them, so I didn't answer.
They left a vmail.
I don't usually listen to them either, cause why not just MSG me?
But I did.
It was for a job.
A new job with a new company.
A job I applied for so long ago, that I don't even remember what it was about.

Can anyone tell me what a 'client services' person do?
When I googled it, it was all craziness that I would not have applied to do....

Anyway, it made me think really hard.
About what I want.
About what I need.
Spoke to the husband, and decided I would call them back.
So I called.
Got the damn voicemail.
But I left a msg.
It was scary.
I don't like change and this would be starting all over again.
Waiting on a call back.
Don't think it's likely in this GFC, job craziness that I'll get a call back AGAIN.
But we'll see.
Still think I'm gonna apply for the role here too though.
Just to see.
I don't have my heart set on it and I think if I don't get it, it'll be OK.
Cause even if I don't get a call back from this new company lady, I know there are other options.
And that's good for now.

I think that God or Buddha or Mohammad, or fate saw me freaking out and wanted me to not anymore.
I think I'm OK with that.

This post helped me too. (except not the baseball part).

Friday, November 13, 2009

What do i want?

What do i want?

A job ad came out today.

The job that she had.

A job that i want.

But i don't want her job. I want to work with her.

I don't know if after seeing what she went through, whether i could even do it. I probably could do the work, but the stress and the everything that came with it, i don't know if i could handle it as much as she did.

It is a job that i would like to do.

The negatives are always on my mind though.

I don't like the remaining people in that team. I don't know if i could work with them.
It would be more ME then US, but there would still be an US.

I wasn't good enough last time i tried to be a part of that team, and it nearly killed me.
I don't know if i could even think about going through that again.

In my mind, it seems like I'm trying to be her. I don't know if people think that, but we were similar, and now, if i got it, i would just be slotted in.

It seems lonely. In my role currently, i have frustrations, but i also have people who i can rant to, and they get it. There i would be alone.

But then there are positives.

I would have some control over what people know.
In my current role, i don't have that, and it is the most frustrating thing.

I would be in a better job. A job that is easier to explain when people ask, and a generally better job.

I would not be where i am.
I would be able to start and finish work when i needed to. No more sitting around with no work for 3 hours just cause i had to be here.
I would not just be wasting away my knowledge while I'm stuck in a job i have had for 4 years.


But i don't know what i want.

Do i really really want this?
I wanted it before, but is it what i want now?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Remembrance Day

It was Remembrance Day today.

It makes me sad.

Sad but proud.
So proud.

The same feeling as ANZAC Day.

I never really got when i was at school. I mean, we had the minute silence and did all that when i was at school, but back then it was just a half a day off school, and i didn't really get it.

But on the last few years, i have gotten it.

I saw a man last ANZAC day on the train. An older man, with medals. A lot of medals. And i felt pride. Proud of him and his bravery and dedication to the place that i live.

I know that i could never in a million years be brave enough to do that.
In an manner.
Whether there was a war or not.

I would love to be able to say, 'I'm a soldier' or something like that.
But I'm not brave.

I know that i will probably never be brave enough.

Thank God for them.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Motivatied - Smotivatied

I have a problem.

I have diagnosed it as Half motivation-itis. (cause all illness need the itis business, right?).

In real people terms it means that i have the hope to do a lot of things, but i will more then likely get halfway through them, and lose motivation and then it will never be finished. I will be very surprised if this post gets posted today, (9/11 - added the date for the pressure), and not sit for days and days when i lose motivation.

Now, this isn't always the case, just with things that are 'due'. I was able to do assignments at school completely and get them in on time (most of the time anyway), i was able to finish tests within the allocated time limit.
At work, if i am told something needs to be done, by close of business, end of the week, end of the month, it is, or is done earlier.

I work super well with pressure.
I think my work is better, too.

But take that pressure away and hello to half motivation-itis.

Here are some examples:

~ I had every intention of cleaning my whole house yesterday. Like vacuum, really spring clean, the bathroom, EVERYTHING. I got to the point of being ready to vacuum and had enough. My house is clean, just not CLEAN..
No pressure, so meh.
Now if someone was going to be coming over and seeing my house, the vacuum and everything would have been done.

~ One of the things that i have to do as part of my job has a turnaround time of 48 hours. Which means it should get done within 48 hours of getting it in. 48 hours means that there is always tomorrow. Always.
I will do ANYTHING else other then get that work done.

Another thing that is a symptom of half motivation-itis is the lose of motivation when there is a small amount of work to be done.

If i have 3 things to do, as opposed to 30 things, i wont do the 3 things.
Cause of my job, i have to be here whether i have work or not, so i wont do them, because then i will know that i will have nothing to do, as opposed to knowing that there is work to be done, that I'm just not doing.

Makes sense, right?

So, its totally a real illness and i should be a doctor and wear a white coat and then people wont question me when im doing nothing but wandering.

Ps. i think that Spike is getting the same sickness as what killed Samson. That makes me VERY sad, but it could also be that the tank needs to be cleaned. Tomorrow.

Sunday, November 8, 2009


Went to Sculpture by the Sea yesterday.


You need to go to see it if you can.

Also, yesterday they had Bumblebee there, so the husband was happy about that too...

Got really really sunburnt though.

Now, for the photos.

Ps. I really really do not like the way the photos are all gobbledygook, instead of the actual pictures when you upload them.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sick again...

So i usually never get sick.
I say usually, cause this year has sucked as far as sickness.

I have had the flu at least 3 times. I had the chicken pox (for the second time), and now, i have laryngitis.

I hate being sick.

I hate having to use my 100's of sick hours when I'm actually sick.


Also, i got meds that say i have to take after eating, but i don't really do breakfast, so if i take it without eating, i wont die, right?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Sad day.

I am sad today.

An awesome, amazing, passionate person quit at my work today.

She was someone who pushed you cause she knew that you could do it, no matter how much you didn't think you could.

I was sick today.
I missed her last day.
This makes me sadder.

People didn't always agree with her, or the way she did things, but she was fighting a good fight. She was fighting for the customers and wanted to make things as easy as possible for EVERYONE. Even if it made it hard for her.

People didn't always understand that.

I am sad.

She made me want to work harder, because she encouraged. She acknowledged. She actually gave a shit.

Not many people at my work are like that.

That also makes me sad.

I can't even put into words my feelings, cause it feels like just blah.