I need a funeral dress.

I'm trying to be secretive on purpose, ps. – While I'm not aware of people I know IRL reading this, it is the internet after all.


I didn’t think that I was at the age where my friends/family were losing theirs.
I don’t want to be at this stage.
But I am.
At least for one of my loves.
We knew it was coming. It had been coming since I met them. Even before I met them.
It wasn’t a surprise.
At least not in the sense that it was coming.
But it had not come yet, so it was kind of a surprise.
Sudden. After not happening for so long.
When you are waiting for something for so long, it’s not expected.
So it was a shock.

I feel terrible for saying this, but it didn’t affect me directly, so I'm not sure how to deal with it.
I'm not a comforter. I don’t have that skill yet. And it’s terrible that I don’t. But I don’t.
I don’t know how I should be acting, cause it’s not direct to me.
I'm being polite and nice, and all the stuff that I think I should do, but I don’t know if I'm doing the right things.
I don’t want to do the wrong things, but I don’t know what they are, so I might.
I'm in the middle.
Being there, but not being there.

I need a funeral dress.

My Dream Home

So, while the Husband and I are renting right now, I eventually want to buy a house, before we start having babies and such.
And when I say buy a house, my dream would be to build a house and live in it forever and have it become a 'family' house like my grandparents house was.
I loved that.

So, here is a list of all the things that I would love love love in my dream house.

~ A Library.
I would LOVE to have a whole room in my house that is just full of books. And comfy chairs or Love Sacs and it will just be wonderful. If i can't have a whole room, i would to have a long long hallway that has a whole wall of bookshelves. Heaven!
(And if i get a wall of books, I'm sure the Husband would want a wall of DVDs, {which we currently are on our way to, by the by} which is acceptable)

~ A Laundry Chute.
I hate laundry. I like putting it in the washer machine/dryer and sometimes I like folding it, but I HATE having to find the laundry and getting it together. If we had a chute i would never need to! Hurrah!
And this leads us onto the next thing.....

~ A Double Storey OR TRI Level house.
I am in love with the idea of a tri level house. In. Love. Not so much three completely separate levels, but say, a few steps just separating the different parts of the house.

~ A pool.
I want a pool. I personally probably wouldn't use it heaps. But I think that pools and backyard gathering go together like nothing else here, so of course its a must.

~ An amazing Kitchen.
I have no idea what makes an amazing kitchen, but family gatherings are always about food, no? :)
(All i really know, is its gonna have an amazing dishwasher.)

~ An {in ground} trampoline.
I love trampolines, and i think they are a must, whether we have kids or not. The in ground part is just safer {read boringer then the 80s one i grew up with}.

~ Ducted air con/heating.
It gets hot here. Real hot.
It also gets cold here. Real cold.

~ Ducted VACUUM Cleaner.
Yes, they have these and they are awesome. Imagine not having to lug a vacuum cleaner around you house, but just have to plug the tubey bit into the wall and away you go. Gonna happen.

~ A (or several) Mural Walls.
I have made one in every place we have lived. Not just photos, but cards, and hospital bands, and invitations, and random things that have drawn my eye. I would love to have one wall covered in Polaroids and another wall with framed photos, and another with random things. When people come over, it/they are my favourite thing to watch them look at, cause of all the wonderfulness. Love.

~ A Buddha shrine (?)
I don't know if 'shrine' is the right word, given who Buddha is and all, but ya know...
I love him. Don't know all the teachings and religion, (i guess?) behind him, but i love him. Currently, have a few including one from Japan, and i would love if he was featured throughout my house.


So far, that's my dream house.
Not a heck of a lot in the grand scheme of things, but the things that i love.
Hopefully, eventually, I'll get to make this dream house and I'll totally invite you round if you re in Sydney (or Melbourne, dunno where it will be to be honest), and I'll cook you something in my amazing kitchen, then you can swim in my pool and jump on my trampoline.
I might even take a photo of you and add it to my wall. :)



Oh, and just FYi, as far as the husband knows, is just that i want to build a house, he has NO idea about all this stuff. Soon enough.....

Bored... With life?

I don't know what it is at the moment. But, I'm bored.
A lot.
With everything.
I go to work and I'm bored.
Not because the work is boring (although sometimes it is).
But because I'm bored with what I'm doing.
I try and distract myself and read the news, but nope.
Halfway through whatever article I read, over it.
I come home and am bored.
I watch some of my favourite tv and I can't watch it without doing something else as well.
And even then, bored.
I'm bored listening to my favourite music.
I'm bored cleaning my house.
I even went shopping the other day.
Shoe shopping.
Bored.
I didn't even end up buying myself any shoes! (and I actually really need them).
I can't even read a whole blog post from my favourite writers!

I just dont know what is wrong with me.

...

Sitting at home alone watching bad tv.
Terrible tv.
Have been all weekend.
Husbands away.
Again.
Its hard.
Boring.
Lonely.
And all the plans I make for myself, things that I can do, will do, want to do, alone, I don't.
Somehow I don't have the time.

It was Mardi Gras weekend this weekend.
Our Mardi Gras isn't like the New Orleans Mardi Gras.
Or at least, I don't think it is.
I haven't investigated it that much.
Let's just assume I'm right.
Even though it was just down the street from my house (literally, I could see the rehersals from my balcony), I didn't go to it.
It was also on tv.
I didn't watch it though.
Well, actually, i did flip the channels and i saw my friend from work on the tv, with her gang.
Famous.
My work had a float in the parade too.
Apparently, it didn't get much airtime.


I've been having trouble at work lately.
I love my job (mostly).
I love my team mates (mostly).
But my boss has been bringing me (and my team) down.
I don't think on purpose.
At least I hope not.
But it hurts and I don't like it.
I know I hardly ever say good things about my job, but some people there, I really really love and basically think of them as family.
The family I had a choice with.


So, that Charlie Sheen is crazy, hey?
Entertaining, and has gorgeous kids, but my gosh.
Next...


This is my new favourite song.
I'm sure my neighbours are probably sick of hearing it.
Im sure my husband will be sick of hearing it when he gets home and updates his iphone, cause i downloaded it too.
Amanda (Fucking) Palmer.
<3



(EDIT: I don't know how to make it so the video is the proper size, so sorry, but listen anyway. Sorry, it looks ugly.)

My TV is broken.
It plays sound, but no picture.
Wait, it plays picture for about a sec and then goes black.
The husband tells me,
"What are we going to do about the TV?"
I think (but don't say even though i really really want to),
"I guess I'll just get to work on my TV fixing skills, shall i?"
sigh.
We have another TV in the bedroom.
I think its enough.
He disagrees.
sigh.


Ps. Its done this before and it fixed itself, so hopefully, hopefully it'll do that again.
I'd rather that, then his choice, which is to go out and buy a new TV right now. Even though its 11.30 at night.
Like i said, sigh.

Dear, Dear, Dear....

Dear followers,
I'm looking to follow more blogs, but i just spent a little while looking and all i found were boat blogs, (boring!) religious blogs (not interested) and mummy blogs (childless).
Help me!

Dear Husband,
When are you going to get home?
I did all the cleaning and washing already, so you have no chores.. ;)

Dear Work,
You are getting boring to me again.
I don't like it when i have to spend all day somewhere bored.

Dear Foxtel,
I have like 100 channels.
Why is it that the best thing on TV right now is "the Real Housewives"?!?

Dear one of my credit cards,
Hurrah!! You are gone!!

Dear a different credit card,
You are a quarter (or what i like to call a quarter) down, get ready to be gone!

Dear another different credit card,
I'm gonna be holding onto you a little while, sorry.

Dear Anyone,
Wanna clean my bedroom?
Its been in its current state for a little while... not a good state.

Dear Wet'n'Wild SYDNEY!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Friend whos baby i saw for the first time in real life recently,
Your baby has a adult face.
Not a baby face.
Its not ugly.
But its definitely not cute.
I'm sorry i mentioned it so much, but it freaked me out.
No, i will not post a photo.
More cause a photo doesn't show the adult face as much.

Little little letters

Dear Work,
I generally love you.
Really.
But for the past 16 days, and the next 6 days, having only two {separate} days off, is just not enough.
Someone please remind me to never do this again.


Dear Little Sisters EX BF,
I hate you.
I hate you for making her cry.
I hate you for lying to her.
I hate you for blaming her for you lying to her.
I hate you for not being a man.
I hope that you realise that you lost a delightful delightful young Lady.


Dear Kelly Cutrone,
I fell a little bit in love with you from this show.
Then i saw you on this show.
Now, I'm watching you on this show...
I love you.
Ps. Don't judge my terrible tv watching habits... trust me, its worse. :)


Dear GREAT Coconut and Lime hand soap,
Thanks for being so delightfully good smelling.
Sorry mum, that you gave it to me for a Christmas present and i forgot about it til now.
{I did try and find a link or a picture but couldn't :( }


Dear HIMYM,
I love you.
I've probably said that before, but i don't care.


Dear Not Always Right,
You make me feel better about talking to stupid people at my job. :)


Dear {slutty} girls whose profile picture on FB is in a bikini,
You don't look good.
And if you did look good, you wouldn't need a picture of yourself in a bikini as your profile picture.

Dear Dad,
Happy 50Th for next weekend.
I hope you have a fantastic time.
I hope that I have made the last 25 years of your life better rather then worse.
I hope you like your present.
Love you.

Happy Australia Day!!

So its Jan 26 today, (well, for me right now, anyway) which means it Australia Day for us. YAY!

I love Australia Day. I love Australia, so its a given that I LOVE Australia Day. (Greatest place on earth - just saying)

I had to work today, (SUCKS), so i didn't get to go celebrate out on the streets or anything fun like that, but living in the city - where people come to celebrate cause there is big festivities - i saw everyone coming in when i was leaving and hanging around when i came back in after work.

On my way to work it was great, loads of different people of different nationality's (is that what it is, if they are all Australian? Or is Cultures the right thing? They weren't all white Australians is all) all wearing the Australian flag, either as tattoos, shirts, hats or had flags.
It was a great feeling.

Then off to work....

Now my work has a dress code. No thongs. So sadly, even though they are iconic Aussie footwear, i didn't wear any. :(

BUT!
I did wear Jean shorts and a Bonds (wifebeater) singlet.
Iconic Australian Wear, i must say.
Sadly, i didn't wear a flag at all though. :(

Ive mentioned my work a few times here, basics are i work in a call centre, part of my job is to take calls from the offshore reps when they need help.
These are people in an Asian (i guess you would call it that?) country,that are trained to speak with an American accent to help Australian customers. Makes sense right?
Anyway, i no longer really notice the account, but today when they were wishing me a Happy Australia Day, and saying GoodDay (or i guess trying to say G'day) i noticed and it made me feel so much pride.
They aren't even in the country and the euthesium in their voices when they were saying it, was great. Just great.

Fast forward 6 hours or so......

I finish work and get home to find the husband has bought PRAWNS (NOT Shrimp) for tea. Yum!

....the only other acceptable thing to eat today is Lamb. Cooked on a barbeque, after being encouraged by these... Seriously watch them. I'll wait.

AND....
I managed to watch part of the fireworks in the reflection of buildings from my balcony.

So.

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY to you whereever you are. I hope your day is/was/will be fabulous.

People Suck

So this article came out on the front page of the paper today.

Here is just a little bit:

HE'S a battler from Sydney's west, a factory worker whose dream is to win a share in Lotto and take his wife on her first overseas holiday.

But Ghazi Adra could also be the state's most honest man - finding $50,000 cash on a train seat, then handing it straight to police.

The money - a large bundle of $US100 notes stashed inside a cooler bag - would have been enough for Mr Adra to retire immediately and whisk his wife away on her dream trip.

But the 68-year-old insisted the cash had to be returned to its rightful owner. All he wants is a thank you.

Now, that's not the part where people suck.

This is where people suck:



Lets ignore the poor use of the English language, and look at these peoples attitude.
Who cares?
I would keep it?
I'm not gonna get caught, so its ok?
She must be stupid?

Come on now.


People suck.

For the record, in that picture, I'm R. The only one saying that they would hand it in.
In the article, there was a poll, and last i saw, it was 55% hand it back. ONLY 55%.

The world is going down the crapper and right here is your reason why. SMH.

















And while we are talking about sucking.
I just called (one of) my banks, BankWest.
I have a loan with them. I set up my loan to come out on my payday.
It was fine until about 2 months ago. Then it started coming out randomly and overdrawing my account.
So i called them.
Lets just say, after working in a call centre and having customer service, i was not impressed.
When a customer has to make a suggestion, because the Rep is telling me to go to my actual bank - who can't help me anyway - to fix the problem, even though it was fine til 2 months ago, that ain't great.
Then when i make the suggestion, and the Rep is a right C* word, ain't good either.
If you happen to be in Australia and read this, go with someone else.
If you are already with them, change. Fast.

Ten Days - Day Ten

Day Ten: One confession.


Some days i wish my whole life was different. That i had different parents, or the same ones that stayed together. That i had different siblings, or the same ones with different parents. That i had a different upbringing. That i went to a different school. That i had different opportunities. That i had a different job. That I had a different husband. Or no husband. That i didn't have to grow up. That i could still be young and not an old 25. That i had different experiences. That my whole life was different.

And then i think.
I like me.
And its ok.

Ten Days - Day Nine.

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

I dont really 'do' smileys, so instead im gonna do this:




VIA.

LOVE <3

Ten Days - Day Eight

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

1. Manners - I'm just an old fashion gal, and i like manners.
2. Entertainment/Laughter - I get bored SUPER easy, so if you keep me entertained AND make me laugh. BING BING BING, we have a winner!
3. Massages - Who doesn't love them?

I know that these were probably supposed to be "other" type of turn ons, but im a private lady. :)