Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tweet Tweet!!

I <3 Twitter.
I really really do.

Here are 10 reasons why its great.

1. Its 140 characters. Its means you gotta be blunt, and that's what i do best!
2. There are no stupid quizzes like Facebook. (or at least none that i have found yet, give it time, i guess).
3. You can follow famous people.
4. You can unfollow annoying famous people.
5. You can update it 20 times a day, and people don't judge you.
6. I twitter. That alone should be enough!
7. Look, I'm too lazy to think of 10, but i gave you 6, so that should be good enough, alright!

Here are the words i most use in my tweets:

And here are some of MY most favourite tweets:

Apparently, I'm funny....
Nope, that wasn't a self compliment. I have been told that.
Yep. Its true. By more then one person too.
I know right?
I'll be honest. They did say that my twitter was funny, but potato, potatoe.

Now, i don't try to be funny, i kinda of use my twitter for a outlet for my anger, and then a notepad thing for blogs, and my brain thoughts, and then for some more anger, and then for cool websites/links that people should look at right now.

I didn't even know how to do the photo thing til recently, and then it was by accident.

So anyway, back to me being funny, (cause its so evidential in this post).

I have tweeted more then 2000 times, and i have selected a few that i think are kinda funny, but maybe not, but then I'm not the one who thinks I'm funny, so maybe I'm not the best person to choose them...

My stupid back is still stupid hurting cause its stupid and hates me. I can totally live without a back right? Its just my lower back...
about 22 hours ago from web

Just washed my hair and got shampoo in my eyes, up my nose and in my mouth. Am i retarded?!?
about 14 hours ago from web

Why are people scared of the rain? It was like 4 billion degrees but now every ones under shelter... People need to walk in the rain more.
9:51 AM Nov 24th from Tweetie

When you are watching a tvshow on DVD, you should be able to skip the opening & end credits. Are you listening tv show DVD makers?!?
11:57 PM Nov 22nd from Tweetie

Why do my lips feel drier when i drink a lot more water then normal? Can someone explain this please?
Really, people, i wanna know this
3:38 PM Nov 19th from web

I hate people who drag their feet. If they are REALLY that heavy, lose some freaking weight, fatty.
11:19 AM Nov 19th from web

I burnt my tongue testing to see if dinner was ready, and then it didn't taste good when i was eating it for real... I think it was good...
8:53 PM Nov 18th from web

I have realised that i LOVE my parents music more then my our era's. I was born at the wrong time.
11:43 AM Nov 18th from web

Sometimes i just agree with what someone is saying cause i can't understand them or wasn't listening... but everyone does that, right?

6:18 PM Nov 17th from web

Does anyone else remember playing, 'heads down, thumbs up' at school? I can't remember (apart from that) how it went.
If you remember, can you please tell me? I still can't remember
10:58 AM Nov 17th from web

Everclear, what ever happened to you? You were so good. Anyone?
2:29 PM Nov 16th from web

Just saw the saddest thing. A dog that had been debarked was trying to bark his heart out, but nothing... So sad.
9:34 AM Nov 16th from Tweetie

Have to admit, the latest Star Trek movie IS pretty good. It could just be that hotness of Mr Quinto, though. Feel free to mock now.
Another reason why i love Heroes too.
5:57 PM Nov 15th from mobile web

I want to rip my teeth out. They hurt... I could totally pull off the toothless look, i reckon.
10:19 PM Nov 13th from web

I'm starting to love this sexy voice thing I've got going on at the moment... It does kinda hurt though... Worth it. I had laryngitis at this time
6:33 PM Nov 12th from Tweetie

David Bowie, you are amazing. He truly is.
6:13 PM Nov 11th from web

Internet, why are you being a shit? 404 is BS and you know it. I have no work to do and need to be entertained, so just WORK!!!I hate 404 error
4:14 PM Nov 11th from web

When you fax something, do you get charged per page or per completed faxing? Like if the fax was yours and not at a newsagent or something.Again, can anyone tell me this?
8:29 AM Nov 10th from web

I wish you could bank sleep. Then make withdrawals when you need more. I'll have an extra 3 hours now please. Can someone get on that?
6:02 AM Nov 10th from Tweetie

Sometimes I wish Twitter was attached to my brain so I wouldn't need to type and my thoughts would just be there.. It would be much easier.
7:05 PM Nov 9th from Tweetie

Sunshine Cleaning. Go hire it. Now.
12:25 AM Nov 9th from web

A league of their own is a great movie. Cleaning pause. I was cleaning my house with the TV on, bad idea
2:26 PM Nov 8th from web

I'd chose Harry over Tom any day.Harry Potter over Tom Cruise. I still stand by my choice.
9:03 PM Nov 6th from Tweetie

I haven't peed all day. That can't be good.
6:06 PM Nov 6th from web

So today is not gonna be good. I've got that drunk unbalanced thing going on already & I haven't left my house yet. Or been drinking.
9:37 AM Nov 6th from Tweetie

You are not butterfly man, you are evil butterfly man.Hiro from Heroes.
12:08 AM Nov 6th from Tweetie

Inside my ribs are itchy.
11:54 PM Nov 5th from Tweetie

Josh Thomas, you are great.
7:23 PM Nov 4th from web

I need a new computer. But don't want to have to buy one. Anyone wanna give me one for no monies?
1:14 PM Nov 4th from web

Big Bang Theory, i love you.
8:08 PM Nov 2nd from web

Sometimes i want to punch Rove in the face, but i can't not watch his show. I have a problem.This ended up being like his 2nd last show EVER.
9:50 PM Nov 1st from web

Um, people driving up and down out the front of my house playing 2pac, it's not 1996. Get some new music. Maybe Y those people yelled at U.For the record, i love/d Tupac. Just not when I'm trying to sleep
1:14 AM Nov 1st from Tweetie

No matter what anybody tries to tell you, Brain shots = not a good idea
10:02 PM Oct 30th from web

Wigs are not as fun as they seem at first...
12:55 PM Oct 30th from web

I wanna go to Sean Penn, Cambodia with Zev and Justin.
9:54 PM Oct 29th from web

I will not be lazy today, I will not be lazy today, I will not be lazy today, I will not be lazy today. Lets face it. I probably will.I probably totally was to be honest
10:48 AM Oct 29th from web

I have wonder woman on my ass, and she has been bothering me all day.
9:40 PM Oct 28th from web

Does anyone else walk race randoms on the street? Secretly, of course. I did just then and totally lost. It was a close call though.
7:09 PM Oct 28th from Tweetie

Just got a email that might have been insulting but not sure... Apparently i have a large persons voice?!?!
3:47 PM Oct 28th from web

I don't want to take off my socks cause it's so darn cold, but I have to have a shower. Oh the dilemma.
8:55 AM Oct 26th from Tweetie

Cake mix is purchased. Forgot the milk, eggs and butter, but almost there. And still have plenty of time.
8:16 PM Oct 25th from web

Excuse me man at maccas, just cause your a bouncer at a strip joint and you have your kid with you, doesn't mean lines don't exist for you.
8:59 PM Oct 23rd from Tweetie

Lets be honest, Tomato sauce with anything is good, right now, tomato sauce and lettuce. Yum!!
1:42 PM Oct 23rd from web

I don't know if i smell like it, or my work smells like it, but i can smell pot. And i didn't smell it before i went to lunch. hmmmm...
1:26 PM Oct 23rd from web

Tomato sauce and cheese has to be one of the best things to eat ever. (i have other things as well, not just that, I'm not a freak).
1:22 PM Oct 23rd from web

So people on the street, are you happy? I didn't wear a dress, but this jeans are making my knees itch. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?!? Every morning i look out my window to see what the people on the street are wearing to know the type of weather
9:50 AM Oct 23rd from Tweetie

Sometimes i think if i punched someone in the face, it would do the world a favour... how i wish i could help the world.
12:14 PM Oct 22nd from web

I feel like I'm still asleep but am at work and expected to do stuff. This is hard.And i wasn't even hung over!!
11:09 AM Oct 22nd from web

I hate when people bang my desk. Do it again and i will bang your head.
11:22 AM Oct 20th from web

My coaster smells like play doh....
3:00 PM Oct 16th from Tweetie

John Mellancamp, i really really really love you. really.I really really do
1:04 PM Oct 12th from web

Do fish close their eyes when they sleep? Like, do they have eyelids? I think Spike is either ignoring me, or is sleeping...
5:06 PM Oct 8th from web

Dear God, please make it an actual Spring (or Summer) day tomorrow (or Saturday). I have a new dress I would like to wear. Thanks God. Amen.
3:55 PM Oct 8th from Tweetie

Its not a bad thing that i love proving stupid people wrong & that it may be my most favourite thing ever, right?
2:32 PM Oct 1st from web

After a while of eating Burger Rings, they kinda taste like Vegemite.. Trust me, its true. Im talking Original Vegemite, not this 2.0 crap
6:09 PM Sep 28th from web

About to see 500 days of summer. Is it bad that I didn't know what movie we were seeing til I looked at the ticket just then?
2:40 PM Sep 19th from Tweetie

Apparently people in Gosford don't eat on Sundays. Every single place that MIGHT sell food is closed....Was at Gosford for my brothers Grand final. He totally won
3:52 PM Sep 13th from Tweetie

I just found out that my brothers hair feels like wet dog hair. For real.Im glad i got the good hair in my family
9:09 PM Sep 12th from Tweetie

My train announcer sounds like he should be an amusement park ride announcer. A bit too early for that, but good try nonetheless.
9:36 AM Sep 7th from Tweetie

Do Australians really REALLY sound South African on US tv shows? REALLY?!?! I can't handle it...Really? Can someone confirm or disprove this for me please?
10:57 PM Sep 1st from web

I can NEVER go on holidays again, cos i think that people get smarter while im on holidays & get bitterly disappointed cos they didn't.
12:06 PM Aug 31st from web

One day I wanna just press any random button on the ticket machince and visit there. Just to see.Still haven't done this. One Day.
9:45 AM Aug 31st from Tweetie

Hello my bed. How I have missed you...
2:25 AM Aug 29th from Tweetie

I can't believe how many people walk around in socks and bare feet in a bus terminal... Even into the bathrooms....
4:41 PM Aug 28th from Tweetie

So apparently cause I went to bed SO early yesterday, it means God is punishing me with no sleep tonight... Awesome!!
2:22 AM Aug 18th from Tweetie

I have broken my brain. It's not gonna work again... At least, not 4 2nite... Have 2 wait & see if it likes me enough 2 come back tomorrow.
6:57 PM Aug 11th from Tweetie

To Me, stop grinding your teeth. I & U would really appreciate it. Thanks. Yourself.I write letters like this often.
2:12 PM Aug 11th from Tweetie

I have had a yawn stuck in my throat all day... I hate half yawns...
4:45 PM Aug 4th from web

Sick of people saying, U can't get Chicken Pox twice... Apparently, you CAN, cause i DID!! Its great that U care, but U are wrong.
I totally had chicken pox then.
3:54 PM Aug 3rd from web

I just woke up and my stomach hates me.
11:04 AM Jul 13th from Tweetie

I hate the weirdest dream. My nails were failling out and my dad was acting like spoiled lttle kid no matter what happened.
3:56 AM Jul 10th from Tweetie

If U dropped a coin in the bathroom stall and it bounced into someones stall would it be wrong to get it quickly?Was a little bit tippsy when i did this one, and i was at the casino.
10:25 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie

How bad is it that i dont wash with soap my mug that i use for milo? I put a LOT of boiling water in it, & thats it... It wont kill me right
5:40 PM Jul 1st from web

Oh gosh, my buildings fire alarm went off JUST as I got out of the shower...Guess i'm gonna burn, cause I ain't going out there half dressed
9:22 AM Jul 1st from Tweetie

Why does the radio only play 'Manic Monday' on not monday? I like the song, but it kinda is just a MONDAY song....
12:49 PM Jun 30th from web

Why, on a Sunday night, do I never remember that I NEED 8 hours sleep 2 function on Monday? Never ever do I remember. Some1 start reminding!
1:54 AM Jun 15th from Tweetie

WHY WOULD ANYONE CHANGE VEGEMITE...????? Sure, its gross, but people expect the grossness!!
6:20 PM Jun 14th from web

I think that my legs have really really stopped working... I can still feel them, i just can't move them. I know that they will not hold me.
3:09 PM Jun 13th from web

Some days I wish I worked at a family company where I could sleep all day and not get fired. Is that so wrong? Just SOME days...Lets be honest, MOST days.
2:56 PM Jun 11th from Tweetie

Cooked and cleaned the kitchen. I feel like a proper wife. When do i get to be a stay at home one?
11:04 PM Jun 9th from web

Oh my gosh, I just read that full house might be made into a movie!!! Exciting but kinda not as well...Can not remember where i read this, but i am still a little excited about it.
4:02 PM Jun 8th from Tweetie

Samson now jumps when you put UR finger near the tank... Sometimes. But not when Sheldon is around...Cause Samson didn't like Sheldon. But Samson died now. PS.Samson was a fish
4:23 PM Jun 4th from Tweetie

I wonder what babies are thinking when they aren't sleeping and eating but just sitting and staring... Can someone enlighten me please?Well?
4:19 PM May 24th from Tweetie

When do you stop being a 'newlywed'? Just curious, not thinking I'm a newlywed.
10:53 PM May 19th from Tweetie

I want to have steaks, chips and eggs for tea... But someone won't go get the steaks or eggs....
8:51 PM May 17th from web

I have gotten the hiccups every day without fail for like 2 weeks.... That's gotta be something bad, right?
2:28 PM May 13th from Tweetie

I do not like how 'holiday skin body lotion' smells. Not at all... Also, I dislike the word lotion too...
9:19 AM May 6th from Tweetie

So I have a question 4 U all. If ppl could get bird flu & swine flu, why did no 1 get equine flu? All these animal illnesses are confusing!
1:43 PM May 2nd from Tweetie

Why is it, no matter how awake I was already, whenever I have a blanket on the couch I get sleepy & all yawn-y??
12:10 AM May 2nd from Tweetie

I just passed a female in 3 inch heels, (a total guess, but not the point) walking with a CANE!! WTF? Really, really, WTF?
8:09 PM May 1st from web

I have come to a conclusion. Im bored, & when i get bored, i get lazy. So its UR fault & not mine when i get to a lazy stage. Entertain me!
4:42 PM Apr 13th from web

I wish i could slap every person who does not cover their mouth when they cough. Yes, i am in a mood, but it will be worse if i get sick.Its just politeness really.
1:29 PM Apr 13th from web

I was told that me putting on red nailpolish while at work was 'appropriate'. Is this someones way of calling me a whore?
7:40 PM Apr 10th from Tweetie

If trading on Good Friday is blasphemy, then is working on GF blasphemy? U get paid 2 work, so technically UR trading? Its not my fault God!
4:51 PM Apr 10th from web

I think Samson is stupid. I thought he was better, so gave him some food. Again, with the floating.... He needs 2 stop eating AIR already!!
4:17 PM Apr 10th from web

What day do U wish ppl 'happy Easter'. The day He died, or the He rose?? Cos both are good days... Curious..Still dont know.
9:54 AM Apr 10th from Tweetie

People talking on the phone in the bathroom is just gross. Even worse when they put the call on speaker.. Eww.I can not handle this.
12:52 PM Apr 7th from Tweetie

For those of you who dont twitter, notice i didn't write once about going to the bathroom,(well, not really) or my bowel movements, or any of that other crap that people who dont twitter think twitterers do.

It really bugs me that people who dont use something ASSUME such stupid things about something that is not!
So in conclusion, if you are not tweeting, (or is it twittering?) go do it now.

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